Monday, August 30, 2010

Call Me Grace

Try to imagine, if you will, the following scenario:

A certain frustrated cowgirl was putting clean sheets on her bed last night. Although this task is not one of her favorites, the alternative would be to live like a college-aged boy and never change sheets until Thanksgiving. The mere thought of this almost makes her dry heave.

I digress.

As she was wrestling with the fitted sheet on the corner of her mattress, she took a step forward only to find that her big toe had caught on the cuff of her pajama pants. (Yes, her PJ's have cuffs.) Since all of her momentum was in the forward motion, she began to fall face first to the floor, still unable to free her toe. At the last possible nano second, she grabbed for the rail on her foot board which caused her entire body to swing around 180 degrees. This left her backside hovering three inches above the floor, her hands desperately clinging to the rail and her toe still securely stuck in the cuff of her pant.

As she hung there, balancing on one foot and wondering how her life had gotten to this point, she realized several important things:
1. How grateful she was that no one witnessed that amazing display of grace and agility
2. How her complete lack of coordination is still alive and thriving.
3. Cuffs are from the devil.
4. This could be the reason she is single.
5. She may have pulled something.

Thankfully, once she regained the use of her other foot and was able to stand up, the rest of her bed-making experience was accident-free. However, she hoped that this was not the beginning of a series of cataclysmic events that result in public humiliation or bodily harm. If you think of it, say a prayer for her safety because rumor has it she is wearing platform heels today.

And on that note, happy Monday to you.


  1. 6. This will make good blog material.


  2. You could have hollered. I was in the other room watching "Spooks." And remember, I'm far less graceful...remember the time I tried - and failed - to high jump the ottoman in an attempt to answer the phone?

    Love you,


  3. LOL - we ARE related! Thank you for this recap... my Monday is a little sunnier because of it! :)

  4. I'm sure we're related! One of the things I hate about winter is the way I catch my big toe in the hem of the opposite legs flannel pants while I'm going up the stairs.

    I hope you survived your fabulous shoes today!

  5. Way to use those green-belt Taekwondo skills. Perhaps you could take a few more classes to help you with that grace problem of yours. Whenever I trip, I immediately go into a tuck and roll position, that's what they teach you at blue-belt. But since you looked graceful & fierce in those heels you're OK.