This is Jenn. She is a fearless world-traveler, nurse extraordinaire and a truly devoted friend.
And this weekend Jenn is getting married. It is going to be three days of fun and celebration and seeing God answer years of prayer. Oh, it will be spectacular!
In anticipation of the impending nuptials, there has been much talk about me meeting a fella who has come highly recommended by her and her soon-to-be hubby. He lives out of state but has planned to be here for the weekend to celebrate. And everyone involved thought that it would be a fairly fabulous idea that he and I meet. And get to know each other. And maybe dance. Or not. Whatever.
So, to honor the occasion, I bought a purple dress, electric purple actually, and have been trying to apply as much sunless tanner as possible without looking like an oompa loompa.
It's a hard balance, people.
However, last night Jenn gave me a holler to say that this fella is unable to make it. As in he is not coming. As in he will be MIA. As in there goes my need to look above-par this weekend. She said something about a work conflict and driving a long way. And she felt terrible about it. I felt terrible that she felt terrible because you shouldn't feel terrible on your wedding week.
I am not going to lie to you and say that I wasn't disappointed because actually I was. There is an element of self-talk that goes into meeting someone new. There is also a sense of anticipation that is rarely experienced, anticipation that you could meet someone who could have a tremendous impact in your life. It's the anticipation of a possibility and I find that so exciting.
And also a little nauseating. It's all about balance, like I said.
However, after Jenn and I talked I realized that this meeting is all about timing, and not my timing, mind you. It's a timing that we will never understand because we serve a God who is beyond our understanding. What seems so perfect and fun could actually be completely wrong and disastrous. And I have the choice to either believe that He knows better than I do or simply pout and cry and feel sorry for myself. And while the latter method does feel good sometimes, the end result is still the same.
It's the waiting game. And we all love to hate the waiting game. But the thing to hold onto is that we are waiting on Someone who has our absolute best interest in mind.
Oswald Chambers says that you are not to wait for something by "sulking spiritually and feeling sorry for yourself just because you can't see one inch in front of you." And "waiting is not sitting with folded hands doing nothing." There has to be a middle ground, a place where you are being exactly who you were created to be, no matter where you are in the waiting game. Chambers puts it this way: "[waiting] is learning to do what we are told to do."
So, while I wait for whatever, or whomever, to come along, I am pretty sure I have been told trust Him with my agenda and my calendar. That, my friends, is a work in progress. But I am also pretty sure that I should wear that purple dress and dance like a maniac while I celebrate my friend and her new life ahead.
And that I can do.