Friday, September 21, 2012

The Great Dating Experiment

For years, I have politely turned down the suggestion/recommendation/urging/prodding/pleading of others to join an online dating website. I honestly have nothing against them, it's just the thought of them makes me want to puke.

You see, I am a dating kindergartner. I can travel to crazy places and speak in front of hundreds of people, but when you ask me to flirt with some cute guy, I become mute and awkward, two wonderful qualities to have when you are looking for the father of your children.

Filling out the online profile is what gives me the most trouble. I am sure you are wondering why since I seem to do just fine talking about myself on this blog, but marketing yourself to a cyberworld of available creepers men just isn't my cup of tea. I second-guess everything I write.

Do I say I love college football or does that look like I am trying too hard?

Do I say I want a guy who is hard-working and dependable and kind and funny or is that being too picky?

Do I say I love chocolate or will they think I need more time on the treadmill?

And don't even get me started on which pictures to post because that is an entire counseling session waiting to happen.

I feel like I am trying to win "The Bachelor" but I am not even sure I want the guy in the first place!

The whole process makes a life of singlehood sound pretty darn great.

So, last night was Women's Group and for some crazy, insane, psycho reason, Jenn and Rachel decided that it was time to set up an online dating profile for me. They said they would take care of all the details and I wouldn't have to worry about a thing.

Essentially, two of my dearest, closest friends are going to become my dating agents and campaign on my behalf, all in the name of love and happily ever after.

I have no words for this.

Jenn, Rachel, Heather, Natalie and I spent the next hour and a half uploading photos, filling in profile questions and determining which personality color I am, which is blue, by the way. And for the next month, they will screen, sort and set me up on a variety of dates.

Dear Jesus, come quickly.

You guys, I am so nervous about this. What if no one "winks" at my profile? What if I meet a bunch of wackos? What if I actually meet the man of my dreams and I just sit there, mute and awkward?

Oh gosh, now I want to puke again.

I have no idea what this will look like but I will keep you posted on the highs and lows of the online dating world.

So, let The Great Dating Experiment (that hopefully won't be a complete disaster and I can at least get a free cup of coffee out of the deal) officially commence!


  1. This makes me all together happy and smiley. I love everything about this, actually. Everything. Kudos to great friends who know you well and love you deeply.

  2. Oh how I LOVE this!!! So sad that I missed last night!!! Love you girl and can't wait to hear about what happens!!!!

  3. I encourage full disclosure in your profile. You don't want to attract any boring, unkind, unreliable slackers with no interest in college football or chocolate. By all means, be picky! And may there be lots of free coffee in your future.