Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Great Set-Up: Part I

I consider it a high form of flattery when people want to set me up with eligible men. For the most part, I trust these people who have taken time out of their day to think about me and my future marital bliss. They don't have to, you know. And really, I have nothing to lose, in less of course the eligible man is an ax murderer. But let's hope not.

So, when my Aunt Marge contacted me a few weeks ago to tell me she had just the fella for me, I immediately gave her my blessing because there is nothing quite as fun or interesting as seeing who your very own flesh and blood will pick out for you. It is one part terrifying and one part entertaining.

And my life could use a little of both these days, so bring it on.

However, this set-up has become a bit more involved than I anticipated. I am heading down to Oklahoma next weekend and this potential suitor/ax murderer and I are supposed to meet while I am there. However, my Aunt Marge is covering all of her bases, including faxing me a picture of him to my office and sending me his resumé. I kid you not, the fax should arrive any minute now.

And she has also vetted me out as well, which is funny since you would think my aunt would already know everything about me. But this time she is putting it all in writing so she can present me in the most accurate light possible. I do absolutely adore her for this. The process of this potential date is more fun than the actual date because we all know that blind dates can be the most awkward form of human interaction on the face of the planet.

So. Very. Awkward.

On Saturday, as I was buying a few things for my upcoming trip to Tunisia, I received a phone call from Aunt Marge and it went something like this:

Marge: "Hello Saree!" (She has always called me 'Saree.' No one else does and I love it.)

Me: "Hi Aunt Marge. How are you?"

Marge: "I am doing fine. Listen, I am calling to talk to you about this boy I want you to meet. I am going over to visit with his parents tonight and I am taking them your resumé and a 8x10 picture of you. Your hair looks so pretty in this picture."

Me: "Oh wow, thank you. Are you sure they want to know all of this stuff?"

Marge: "Well, it doesn't hurt. So, I had your cousin find out information on exactly what you do for a job and I have written down that you have traveled to many different countries. I am also mentioning that you salsa dance, or is it the rumba? And I will tell them you also like horses."

Me: "Thanks. Yeah, just tell them I work in international development. You don't need to read them our mission and vision statement. And yes, I do like to salsa dance and I do love horses."

Marge: "Now, what I am thinking is that his parents will give him all this information about you and show him your picture and if he is interested, he can call you. Is that okay if I give them your cell phone number?"

Me: "Oh sure, that's fine. You can also give him my email since that is slightly less intimidating."

Marge: "And do you want me to say anything else about your education or what you do for fun?"

Me: "Oh gosh. Well, just tell him that I have a good sense of humor and that I can make a mean cupcake."

Marge: "Okay, got it. Mean cupcake."

Me: You know what, Aunt Marge, I trust you. You will do great. You know me so just tell them what you want to tell them."

Marge: "Oh sweetie, thank you. I will do my very best."

And with that, she hung up.

But then she called two more times just to make sure she had her facts straight. I tell you, if this isn't love, then I don't know what is.

The next day we called her to see how the dinner went and she said it was absolutely wonderful. The parents love me and they are going to do all they can to have the son ask me out while I am there (which is only going to be for 48 hours). Of course I could be offended by the fact that four adults are practically begging this guy to ask me to grab a Dr. Pepper at the Pizza Hut, but I choose to look at this as an opportunity feel adored. And if nothing else, at least I know I am represented well.

So stay tuned! I have no idea how this will turn out. It may be a complete flop or I may just be 10 days away from meeting my soul mate. It's a total toss up.

The picture just arrived via fax and even though he is a bit blurry, he does not look like a murderer. Things are looking up.


  1. LOL - I had no idea this was what her call was about! I felt like we were filling out an application of some kind...only for you. I'm sure we will be on the edges of our seats to see how this all goes down.... ;-)

    BTW - how is it that yours is the only personal life we are ALL involved in? And by we I mean the fam, you know, all 82,496 cousins and all. It's like a potluck of sorts. Everybody brings something to share....

    Love you <3

    1. SERIOUSLY! Why is everyone all up in my bizness? LOL! It does provide some good blog material. And thanks for giving her all the details on my professional life. I appreciate the accuracy.

      Can't wait to see you. :)

  2. Andrew the Melvin - you better update your chart with Kellie's new numbers.

    Sarah, I was going to offer to discretely follow you on your date to make sure you are safe, but since you will be in OK, you will automatically be surrounded by others looking out for you.

    The WP

    1. My thoughts exactly when I saw the new number!

      Am I the only one thinking this cowgirl should skip this date and stay single simply based on the likely increase in population should she meet, date, marry, then reproduce with this lucky man?

    2. No way, Sarah definitely deserves to just be a Cowgirl instead of a Frustrated Cowgirl and raise up the next generation of little cowboys and cowgirls, but from the looks of those numbers if they get too much bigger, the Rymer/Flaherty klan is going to need their own Ambassador to the U.N. Seester?

  3. Your Aunt Marge must have a little bit of Indian (dot kind, not feather kind) blood in her. This sounds VERY much like an Indian arranged marriage to me. Photos and resumes are a must! As well as meeting the prospective spouse's parents, siblings, grandparents, cousins, etc. Can't wait to hear how this set up goes!!

  4. So very excited for you! And glad you have someone in your life that is a little better suited for matchmaking ;)

    Mandy <><

  5. Glad to hear the picture passed the non-murderer test! A step in the right direction, for sure!!!

  6. Sarah I must agree with Robyn... I was going to guess that this non-ax-murderer must be Indian... this is how we do it in our 'hood. Enjoy! ~ Leah