Top Ten: Observations from the Gym

I have returned to the gym, people. It was past time. I realized that in order for me to be more consistent in working out, I needed to physically leave my house. My discipline on my treadmill at home had been lacking, i.e. I would bring a snack with me. For some reason I wasn't seeing the desired results.

So, for the past few weeks, I have been going to gym at all hours of the day. And during my time there I have come up with a few observations:

1. I don't like for people to be on either side of me when I am on the treadmill/elliptical/stair climber. I get intimidated, which causes me to look at their machine to see how fast they are going, which causes me to go faster, which in turn leads to a heart attack or complete collapse of my muscular system. Apparently my pride and insecurities cause me to act like a triathlete when I am actually more of a napper.

2. Working out is a very personal, private thing. Most people are in their own worlds, listening to music, reading or watching TV. They are not chatting, they are not Facebooking, they are merely focused. I appreciate this.

3. Gyms smell funky. No matter how many fans may be blowing or how often they clean the equipment, gyms have a foul stinky stank to them. You just can't avoid it.

4. I admire the people who swim for their workout because I do not particularly love to swim. There is too much time involved, from the primping to be seen in a swimsuit, to the actual swimming, to the getting out of the pool without looking like you need a forklift, to the showering, blow drying, curling, moisturizing and overall complete make-over that has to happen afterwards. I just don't have that kind of time, nor do I own a swim cap or goggles. I am fairly certain that would not be my best look.

5. I have given up completely on looking cute at the gym. I just can't pull it off. Some girls can and I secretly loathe them. Their sweat is even cute. Mine? Not so much.

6. The guys in the weight area always make me giggle inside of my head. Their behavior is quite predictable: walk around, find some weights, move so they can watch themselves in the mirror, lift weights, put them down, flex. Repeat. Giggle, giggle, giggle.

7. The classes that are offered also intimidate me. What if I am the only one in the room who can't hack it? What if I flail my arms too much? What if I am wearing the wrong type of stretchy pants? What if it is completely full of cute girls? It's just too stressful.

8. Personal hygiene is of utmost importance in this type of setting. UTMOST IMPORTANCE. Do whatever you need to do, but come to the gym clean. Your shower routine has a direct impact on my ability to focus. And with my coordination, I need to focus.

9. Hulu Plus on the iPhone has revolutionized my cardio workouts. I can burn off 300 calories while watching Modern Family. It's a win/win.

10. People of all sizes come to the gym. And people of all sizes work really hard to get fit. I admire this and it causes me to work out harder.

So there you have it! Feel free to contribute. Or come to a class with me. I could use a buddy.