Letter to the BBC

Dear BBC,

Every Sunday night at 9:00 pm, you welcome yourself into my living room with the most delightful stories of intrigue, scandal and romance.  Most of the time I have no idea what your actors are saying but your scenes of tranquil gardens and 19th century evening gowns make up for it.

Often I am left with the feeling that I should have been born 150 years ago into a noble British family, where all I would do is talk about the roses in my garden and drink tea with old ladies. But alas and alak (I am using one of your phrases, BBC), my desire for indoor plumbing, central heating and Starbucks brings me swiftly back to reality and I once again become thankful for being alive in 2011.

But please do not let my 21st century needs and wants deter you from producing such cinematic sensations as your six-hour version of Pride and Prejudice, or your six-hour version of Emma, or your six-hour version of Cranford. Not only do you whole-heartedly stand by your belief in multiple-hour miniseries, but you also take any and every opportunity to highlight the Poster Child for Brit Lit: Jane Austen. I do love Jane.

Currently, I believe I am in hour seven of your latest accomplishment, Downton Abby, which, by the way, is delightfully charming even though the oldest daughter in the show is super snobby and needs a new hairdo. Perhaps you could work on her hair before the last episode airs next week. Thank you.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I would like to make a request: please send Mr. Darcy, Mr. Knightly, and some dude named Matthew in the show I am currently watching, in my direction. My neighborhood could use a few charming, dashing, slightly arrogant and entitled yet humble and assertive, men. And if they have top hats, that's even better.

Thank you for your consideration of this request.

A devoted fan and lover of scones,

The FC