Identity Crisis

This past Sunday I filled in for a friend of mine at my church nursery. I  love doing this because I love babies and the way they smell and their cute little hands and funny expressions on their faces and the fact that I only have them for 90 minutes then I give them back to their parents.

It is a sweet deal, my friends.

As I was sitting on the floor playing with one of the sweet little cherubs who was drooling on my foot, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that a dad walked in with his little bundle all dressed in blue. I had never seen the dad or his baby boy before, which is actually encouraging because I love when we have new people at our church. The other nursery helper welcomed them and helped him sign up his kiddo on the registration form.

Then the dad came over and placed his adorable baby on the floor next to me and at that moment I turned around looked at the baby and said "Well hello there, handsome guy."

Only to be met by the most darling baby GIRL.

AWKWARD.

Like 22 kinds of awkward.

The dad just looked at me like I had grown a third eye. And I sat there wishing the ground would open up and swallow me. I had just called his adorable angel princess a BOY. Oh the issues she will have at 13.

To my defense, if I have one, she totally looked like a boy out of the corner of my eye and she was wearing blue from head to toe. WHO DRESSES THEIR BABY GIRLS IN BLUE? But what I didn't notice were her extremely long, girly eyelashes, the ruffles on her socks and the polka-dots on her shirt. I tried to figure out a way to laugh it off and pretend like I was talking to another boy baby but the dad was the only guy in the room.

Dear Jesus, come quickly.

So here were my choices:

1. Laugh it off and apologize, saying "Oh, I'm sorry. Of course you are not a boy! You are a beautiful little girl!" (That was obviously the route I should take.)

2. Hope that the dad thought I was talking to him, which HELLO HE IS MARRIED, would have been inappropriate on so many levels, especially since we were at church.

3. Pretend I didn't say anything and just keep acting normal...whatever that is.

I chose 3, because I am a mature adult, with a good dose of "well aren't HER ruffly socks so cute!" I am such a chicken.

When the dad returned to pick her up after church, I met him at the door saying, "SHE did such a good job! SHE is so sweet and plays so well with others. And SHE is almost walking, you must be so proud of HER!"

Overkill much?

Yes, very much.

So, if you ever need a babysitter, just let me know. I'll try not to warp your children.

And for the dad who brought in his baby girl all dressed in blue, please, for the love of her self-esteem and my reputation, put a bow in her hair. It will save a lot of awkwardness. I promise.