You see, I was making you all a recipe yesterday. It was a new recipe, full of bacon, which really is the only kind of recipe you should make: Bacon and Green Chile Cornbread Muffins.
And yes, they were magical. Especially with chili and football.
Just as I had added the egg to the batter, and while I was deftly taking a picture of me gracefully pouring the milk into the bowl, my phone slipped from my hands and fell in. Right in. As in it fell right into the cornbread batter.
People. All I could say was "oh no" over and over again. My nephew Noah, who was carefully watching my every move, thought it was perhaps the most awesome thing he had seen that day. And he had already shot my leg with a Nerf dart as I attempted to Karate Kid him in the kitchen. So, needless to say, he had already seen some form of awesome from his favorite aunt.
But that is not the worst part.
The worst part is that my phone is ghetto. GHETTO. You see, last year, after this really horrendous blind date (you can read about it here), I dropped my phone in the parking lot and the screen cracked in a million places.
However, I am
But, when you combine cornbread batter with a severely cracked phone you end up with a hot mess that sticks to your face and makes you smell like a farm truck. As I told my coworker about this mishap this morning, she let me borrow her phone to take a picture of it.
As you can see, cornmeal batter has found its way into every possible surface on my phone. It is in my speakers, my battery/re-charge portal, the cracks on the screen, under my phone case and in the ear bud hole.
Miraculously, the phone is still working. In fact, it didn't skip a beat, which is both tragic and budget-friendly at the same time. I just wiped it off with a wet paper towel and kept on cooking. I thought about washing it off and putting it in rice, but I thought that adding rice to the mix would make me smell like Thanksgiving. Cornmeal batter was plenty.
It reminds me of these commercials on TV:
So, in the future, if you see me talking on my phone and cornmeal falls from my ear, please just realize it came from my phone and not my actual head.
Because really, that would be ridiculous.