Do you know that scene in Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (NERD ALERT!) when Bilbo Baggins sees his precious ring again and momentarily turns into a wicked creature who looks like the ugly version of Gollum with heinous teeth and dead eyes?
Well, that happened to me yesterday.
All of a sudden, I turned into a creature that was horrible to be around and scary to look at. I could literally feel the change and the ugliness and the struggle.
Has that ever happened to you?
I don't know what it was. It could have been hormones, those nasty little things.
It could have been low-blood sugar, but since I have never experienced that a day in my life, I highly doubt that was it.
Or it could have been that slimy snake we call Satan, stirring up something in my mind and causing me angst and discontentment. And if Satan can't win my soul, he can certainly try to make me unsatisfied with my God.
So, I went for a walk. A long walk, by myself. I even put in my ear buds without turning on any music just so I could drown out the world and listen for Him.
And do you know what I heard? I heard:
I know, Sarah.
I know the heaviness on your heart. I know what it is like to live in this world. I know how hard it is to fight for the good things, the holy things, the things that last and to turn away the things that destroy. I know what it is like to feel disconnected. And I know what it means to fight Satan head-on.
But guess what?
I beat him.
I beat him and will continue to do so. And even when you are discontent, know that I am bigger, stronger, wiser. And next time you feel like the ugly version of yourself, I will still be here, waiting, loving, fighting.
And by the end of my walk, Gollum had vanished, leaving me with a quiet heart...and better teeth.