Y'all. I am in the middle of those all-day meetings that happen twice a year at my office. We discuss everything from visas in Egypt to crashing servers and somehow manage to still like each other at the end of the day. It is a minor miracle, my friends. A minor miracle. And because I know you are dying to see what goes on in one of these meetings, I have typed it out for you in excruciating detail.
6:30: My alarm goes off and I resist the urge to throw it against the wall.
7:24: Leave my apartment and try not to freeze to death in the frigid temperatures. Also, my soup leaks in my lunch bag. Major bummer.
7:44: Arrive at work and take off several layers of clothes. Breathe. Sip some coffee and decide that I shouldn't even check email before the meetings begin because that would just make me cry.
8:00: The meetings begin with devotions. We discuss 1 Thessalonians. Who knew that was such a great book?
9:15: Coffee refill.
9:30: I kick off the presentations of what went well and what didn't go well in my department for 2011. This quickly leads into a discussion of raising funds in a bad economy, in which I curl up in the fetal position and pray for fruitful year-end giving. Immediately following, my colleagues give their updates until lunch time.
12:00: Eat my soup...at least the part that didn't spill into my lunch bag.
1:00: Continue hearing updates from the regional directors who oversee a total of 13 countries. Some very important information was discussed here. I am almost certain we will have world peace by the end of this week.
2:30: Break. Eat a piece of chocolate cake made by my boss's wife. It was unbelievably delectable and I would like to request one every Tuesday.
2:45: The meeting resumes and this time we talk about our budget. There's nothing like a bunch of charts and numbers to make this liberal arts major want to take a nap. However, it was a very productive discussion.
5:30: End meeting for the day and pile into a car to drive to dinner.
5:37: Stuck in rush hour traffic on the highway.
5:42: Stuck in rush hour traffic on the highway.
6:01: Pull up to Maggiano's for dinner and gladly accept the free valet parking.
6:02: Inhale all the wonderful smells of carbohydrates.
8:02: Waddle out of Maggiano's.
8:43: Drop by Claire and Carr's apartment to deliver a wedding gift from a friend and to sit on their new couch. It is a great couch. You should go sit on it too.
9:18: Leave their apartment and try not to biff it in the parking lot. Mission accomplished.
9:25: Stop by my parent's house to pick up the list of campers my dad had given me on Sunday in which I left in my mom's car Sunday night. She and I have a cup of tea and we discuss the aforementioned meetings in which I realize that I am so tired I have become light headed. I sit there until it subsides and I realize that my alarm will go off in less than 8 hours.
10:27: Leave the house and drive to my apartment.
10:37: Arrive at my apartment and load the dishwasher, make coffee for the morning, pack my lunch, take a shower, check my email, do a crossword puzzle, turn on my heating pad and go to bed.
11:26. Fall asleep and pray that we have a snow day tomorrow.
And there you have it. Please take a nap for me.