I left my phone at home today.
Not on purpose, of course. Who in the world would purposefully leave their lifeline at home? That's just ridiculous.
I am partial to lifelines, particularly ones that tell me how much money I have in the bank and how many calories I will waste if I eat cookies for breakfast. It also has all the pictures I have taken in the month of June while I was buried in work and family birthdays and not having time to blog. I am sure you are dying to see those pictures and the first priority of my day was to show them to you so you didn't think I had run away or joined the circus or had forgotten how to type.
I also need my phone because what if I actually have wait in line for something and I don't have Pinterest to distract me?
Or what if I need to check the weather? People! The weather! How will I know?
And I am sure the Facebook world is missing me. I am an expert Facebook lurker and liker. It's just what I do.
And what if I wanted to run a 5K after work? (Let's just pretend, people!) My phone is the only one that can tell me when to run, when to cool down and when to pass out.
Oh, and just in case we forgot about the original function of a phone, it has all of my phone numbers in it. It probably has your phone number in it, especially since the only ones who still read this blog either share my last name or are trying to find out if I survived last month. And don't even begin to ask me if I memorized phone numbers because the only two numbers I have memorized are my office's fax number and my home phone in 7th grade.
That stupid phone. It is just sitting there on my bedside table, probably lighting up with texts and reminders and wondering where I am.
And all I can do is just sit here and live my Monday with carefree abandon that no one needs me right now and that the world is still turning without me making sure of it. I just have to struggle through my app-free day, without a text, without an email, without the constant desire to make sure I didn't miss a status update from that guy I met three years ago who knows my cousin's husband's sister. I have to endure the freedom of a zero data day.
How will I survive?
I guess I'll just go outside to check on the weather. This Simple Life is harder than I thought.