It's confession time.
Apparently, in my attempt to be more transparent and vulnerable, I have also become more socially awkward. And that is exactly what every single, 31 year old girl wants to be.
I am not sure why this awkwardness is becoming more apparent in my life right now, but it is out in full force. I am thinking I could be a Saturday Night Live skit by next weekend.
A few examples:
1. On Tuesday, my sweet friend Jenn brought me dinner. It was an amazing gift and it was so good to see her smiling face and talk for a few minutes. Of course during this time I happened to shed a few tears (I have become a faucet these days) but I wiped them up and continued on with our visit. It wasn't until after she left that I looked in the mirror and I realized I had a little snot on my face.
As in snot. On my face.
What am I, a toddler?
I am really sorry Jenn.
2. Later that evening, my fabulous friend Melissa came over to hang out (it's true, I have incredible friends). We made cookies and talked about babies and work and hair and justice, you know, the norm. And as she was getting ready to leave she said something funny and I am pretty sure I slapped her on the butt. No, I am serious. I think that happened.
But the question is WHY? WHY did that happen? The world may never know but I am pretty sure Melissa felt violated.
I am really sorry Melissa.
3. And then on Wednesday night I had dinner with my incredible friend Sara. Sara and I went out to a restaurant that had a revolving door. And everyone who knows about revolving door etiquette knows that you should never cram yourself into the same wedge as someone else. I mean, unless you just got engaged or you want to ensure your grandmother comes out on the other side, you should just wait until the next wedge swings around.
But not me. Oh no, I just stepped in right behind Sara and for three whole seconds I felt like I had just violated the code on how to be a proper human.
I am really sorry Sara.
So you see, folks, with every act of authenticity comes an equal but opposite reaction of extreme awkwardness. I apologize in advance if I offend you in any way or make you question your friendship with me. It is definitely not my intent.
It's just my freak flag flying high.