I have mentioned that I studied Genesis this year. We quickly came to the end of the book this week, after spending some time with Joseph and his motley crew of brothers. Yet my mind continues to wander back to earlier chapters.
To be specific, my brain is still stuck on Sarah.
As in Abraham's better half.
She was a complex woman. She was known for her beauty, probably rocking the good looks well into her 90's. Apparently the desert sun and sand were good to her.
She was courageous enough to leave all that she knew to follow her husband to lands unknown.
She endured several sticky situations with heads of state, both of which would make me want to trade in my husband for a newer version.
She was barren, carrying around a deep sadness that was personally heartbreaking and publicly humiliating.
And she was resourceful.
Many of her qualities I do not share, but the resourcefulness I can understand. You see, I have a tendency to want to help God along, like I am his trusty side-kick who sometimes saves the day.
I am pretty sure this would be categorized as "Ego Maniac" in the concordance.
Sarah was promised a child, and after years of waiting (and crying and waiting), she decided that perhaps what God really meant was that she would have a child through her maidservant. You know, as in perhaps she thought she needed to help God out in accomplishing His plan. Perhaps she thought God wasn't big enough.
It is easy to read this and think "Geez, Sarah. Can't you see that this plan would create some drama with a side of dysfunction?" It is easy to read this and see where her thinking took a wrong turn.
Yet, how often do I do the same thing? How often do I think that God really didn't mean what He said when He asked me to "Be still and know that I am God?" How often do I question His plan for my life when nothing is going the way I thought it would, therefore I must have dropped the ball somewhere and need to pick it up? How often do I think that God must need me to help Him out because He just doesn't have time, or the love, or the desire, or the ability to make His plan unfold without me?
Unfortunately, the answer is often.
As I studied Sarah and the imperfections of her life, I was reminded that our name means "Princess."
However, I have found myself acting more like the daughter of a peasant than a daughter of a King, because daughters of a King would never doubt His ability to accomplish anything He pleased.
Daughters of a King are never in want, are never in fear, are never without exactly what they need.
Daughters of a King are not side-kicks or back-up plans, they are simply daughters who get to rely on a Father who will never let them down.
So my prayer is that I remember this and live by it, because I will gladly hang up my cape for that.