Wednesday, May 15, 2013

My Week Off

You may have noticed that I inadvertently took a week off from blogging. I thought about all the words I could write and all the stories I could share with you but the only thing I came up with was "I've got nothing."

Sometimes that happens. Sometimes that happens because I am fully entrenched into a routine that consists of sleeping, working and driving. As much as I would like to make that entertaining, sometimes it just isn't. Surprisingly, sometimes I don't fall into a fountain or compete with a pregnant woman on the treadmill.

Sometimes that happens because I have computer meltdowns or loss of connectivity or I am halfway around the world where I am having trouble finding running water let alone free wi-fi.

Sometimes that happens because I need a break. Hey, we all need vacations and I am a HUGE fan of taking them.

But this time, this time it happened because I was empty. I was running on fumes and the thought of even typing that out made me tired. I was in a deep funk, a funk consisting of stress, fatigue and a touch of depression. In other words, the trifecta of anti-blog material.

Sometimes, this is where life drops you off, even if only for a week.

So, I did what I do best: I spent my free time eating. And when I felt guilty from eating, I ate some more to stuff down my guilt. And if I wanted to escape the sense of guilt from eating 39 miniature Twix bars, I would watch TV. Hour after hour of mindless "entertainment" would pass and do you know what I felt afterword? Worse. I felt worse.

And all the while, as I tried to fill the time and the void with overly-processed garbage, I did my best to stifle the still, small voice inside, saying:

Sarah. I can quench your thirst. I can give you a new song.

And I was like: "Nope. I've got this. I know what I am doing. My parched soul and I are doing just fine."

This went on for a full week.

Just ask me. I can fill you up.

"I am full. Full of nougat."

Stop fighting me. I long to comfort you.

"Hulu does a great job of comforting me. And so do stretchy pants."

I want to give you an abundant life, not one of left-overs.

"I love left-overs. Just throw me some scraps."

And then finally, finally, something clicked. The voice of self-pity was drowned out by my need for something more. Something that this world was not offering: life. I needed the restoration of a hope-filled life not the continuation of a man-made rut.

And with that realization, the cycle stopped.

I love when He brings us around to see this. Because it boils down to this: do you trust Me enough to provide you with what you need?

And for most of last week, I did not.

Oh, the tragic loss of a week.

But oh, the sweet grace of what awaited.

And now I am back.


  1. Yay for being back, quality time, and for breaks!!! Hugs!!! :)

  2. AnonymousMay 15, 2013

    I LOVE your honesty. I also have so many excuses for why i ignore God's voice. And I love how funny you are even when you are being serious. And I love your strength and trust even though things seem yucky. And I love the hope of the beauty that God has planned for you. I love you sister.

  3. Oh, how you speak to my soul.

    My blog has been neglected--some of it understandable, some just my own stubbornness. I've felt too numb to even be able to hear. I'm starting to work my way out of that. Well, I'm not doing the work as much as I'm letting God do it.

    Thanks for being real.