The Frustration of Being Five

Noah: "I am really, really, really, really, really tired of people telling me what to do all the time."

Preach it, brother.

Unfortunately, you're only five. You may want to pace yourself.

I'm Packing Sequins and Peanut Butter

So, I finally have some news for you! And it is big, big news. (No, I did not have a hot date over the weekend that involved pink peonies and my red high heels. Unfortunately.)

However, this news is fun and exciting and a change of scenery: I am leaving the country and headed to Portugal!

That's right, I am packing my bags and my peanut butter for a week in Portugal. I have the honor of emceeing a conference for our Associates in North Africa and I have been working on my jokes and opening act for quite some time. I will be bringing my tap shoes and I may even throw in a sequin outfit or two.

I heart sequins.

I will be staying in Lisbon at a hotel near the coast where I plan to take long walks on the beach and brush up on my Portuguese. And since I do not know any Portuguese, I will probably just speak Spanish since that is what usually happens to me when I go to a foreign country.

However, that is where my planning has stopped because I am not actually sure what one does in Portugal. I mean, do they salsa dance? If so, color me available! Do they have historic monuments or museums full of invaluable art? If so, then book me a tour! Do they only serve fish and other creatures from the sea for dinner? If so, then I will be carrying my Super Crunch in my purse at all times.

Truly, Portugal is an entirely new country for me and I am not quite sure what to expect. However, do not worry, peeps. We will explore it together! I am taking my trusty camera and my ghetto laptop and paying 12 Euro an hour for internet just to ensure that you enjoy this ride along with me.

Shoot, maybe this Irish girl will even get a tan while I'm there!

Yeah right.

So, do you know anything about Portugal? Have you been? Did you love it? Did you only eat fish?

Your comments will be greatly appreciated.

Nothin'

Okay friends, I am going to give it to you straight: I have nothing to blog about.

Seriously. NO-THING.

I have been thinking and thinking, trying to figure out anything remotely entertaining, thought-provoking or humorous to share with you and I've got nothin'. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Nothing.

It is stressing me out. Can you tell?

I could tell you about how I did my taxes for the first time on Sunday. But if I talk about that then I will have to tell you that my dad actually did them and I just filled in the blanks on the form.

Or, I could tell you that I went to my favorite pizza place Saturday night and ate an ENTIRE CALZONE. But that would mean I would have to reveal to you that once a week I have a "cheat" day and eat anything I want...including entire meals for a family of four.

I could also mention that I went to the Rockies game last night with my mom. It was a stellar evening. The Rockies won. My mom and I each sipped lattes. And we had amazing seats. But that's it. That was the evening in a nutshell.

I could also say that I went to my massage therapist last week and she said "your shoulders are messed up." Awesome. I am glad you confirmed it. Please fix them. Gently.

I thought about even posting my pictures of the Mint Oreo Balls I made this weekend. But since it is lunch time and I am hungry, I didn't want to drool on my keyboard. But feel free to make a batch yourself, they are TO. DIE. FOR.

Or I could write paragraphs about my frustration with boys and dating or lack there-of. But, there is no need to hash that out. You could just watch an episode of "Degrassi Junior High" and be caught up with how I feel.

So, I'll leave it at this: I really like you. I am honored you even read this blog. I am sorry I have nothing relevant to say, but I promise I will keep trying!

Happy Wednesday to you!

Bunco for Babes

Do remember my friend Melissa? The one whose curly hair I covet?

Yep, that's her. She is pretty fabulous.

Well, Melissa works with a ministry in North Africa that focuses on caring and empowering women and children.

Super cool, I know.

And as a way to raise money for sweet kiddos in Timbuktu (yes, that is a real place!), she is having a Bunco Night! And it's not just any bunco night, it is a Bunco Night with FREE CHICK-fil-A!!!!

You heard me.

And I decided to blog about this event because not only do I love Melissa, I also love the work that is going on in Mali and other parts of North Africa. It is life-saving, Holy Spirit-working, transformational stuff, peeps. It is amazing.

Now here is where you come in...are you ready??

I am OFFICIALLY inviting you to come play Bunco! Perhaps you have never played before (I have only played once) or maybe you are on a competitive league that plays Bunco every single night, either way, this party is for you!

All you need to do is find a team of four and come play! It is just that simple. And there will be prizes, lots and lots of prizes. Free movie passes, $100 gift cards to CB&Potts and stellar stuff like that. And, like I said, free Chick-fil-A for all! What is not to love??

And the best part: you are helping orphans in Africa. It's a win/win people.  Here are the details for you. If you are interested in playing, just reply to this blog or email me at sarahdellie at hotmail dot com! Even if you don't live in Colorado, you should come visit just for this!

What: Bunco Night for orphans in Timbuktu
When: Saturday, April 16
Time: 6:00 - 9:00 pm
Where: Lone Tree Rec Center
Cost: $25 per person ($25 will feed 10 kids for 1 month)

You guys are the best!

Bend It Like Beckham...Or Something Like That

So, I know this kid.

I am a huge fan of his. HUGE, I tell you.

And on Saturday I witnessed something completely awesome and educational: his first soccer game.


Noah "David Beckham" Rymer, the first one in line, warming up for his soccer debut.

Now let's back up a minute. Oklahomans are not known for their soccer skills. Instead, we pride ourselves on football and football. Case in point: I was once on a soccer team called "The Huggabunches." And I wore a pink t-shirt and black shorts and soccer shoes and barely made it through one game before I realized that running that much was overrated and I would much rather be a cheerleader.

However, Colorado is a different place. We wear Birkenstocks. We don't fry all of our vegetables (darn it). We hike...or at least some do. And here, "football" actually refers to the game of soccer.

So, when Noah decided to join a soccer team, I realized that this Soccer Aunt was going to have to learn a few things in order to keep up with the current trends of Colorado kindergartners.

However, after approximately 7.3 seconds into the game, I realized that there isn't a tremendous amount of skill or strategy that is needed, per say. Rather, the goal is to find the ball and kick it. And kick it in the direction of a goal. Hopefully your own goal, but whatev.

While watching the game, I also noticed a variety of other things that were happening simultaneously on the field. Such as:

Kicking dirt

Falling down because it seemed cool

Pulling your jersey over your head while you are supposed to be tending the goal

Yelling to your parents (or grandparents) on the sideline

Running over to your parents (or grandparents) on the sideline to ask for a snack

Crying

Jumping

Pointing

Clapping

Singing

Staring off into space

And so on...

Of course there was a lot of kicking and running going on as well.

And even though no one was "technically" keeping score, Noah's team totally won 4-1. And Noah did an awesome job for his first game. Once, he yelled at us as he was running by, "hey, did you guys see my kick?" Of course we did. It was the best kick of the day.

So the first game was a complete success, dirt-kicking and all. Seriously, I am so proud of this kid. And I look forward to many more "football" games in our future.

Top Ten: Things I Love About Spring

I love spring almost as much as I love summer. So in honor of this oh-so anticipated season, here are a few things that I adore about this time of year.

1. Tulips. Love them. LOVE. THEM. If you are planning on asking me on a date, you should show up with tulips. That will pretty much guarantee you a second date...unless you say something totally ridiculous like "I just want you to know that you aren't the only fish in the sea. I mean, I am dating other people." No lie. That happened on a first date. Unfortunately.

2. Longer days. Seriously, longer days are so glorious. My bed still has a magnetic force over me in the mornings but the longer evenings make up for it.

3. Carrot cake. I know you can eat this anytime of the year, but doesn't spring just scream "sweeten up some vegetables and cover them in cream cheese frosting?" I am thinking  yes, yes it does.

4. Budding trees. I love budding trees, especially the ones that are white and pink. If you are allergic to these, I am really sorry.

5. Espadrilles. The mere selection of shoes out there this time of year is almost overwhelming. Almost.

6. Better movie selections. Lately, there have been some real bombs out in the movies. But thankfully, the closer we get to summer, the better the movies will become. At this point, anything will be better than Red Riding Hood. ANYTHING.

7. Easter candy. Reece's peanut butter eggs complete me.

8. Memorial Day Weekend. These three days are the gateway to summer and the only day off I get between President's Day and the 4th of July.

9. Outdoor BBQs. There is nothing better than the smell of BBQ. If you plan on having one this weekend, or any weekend, just let me know. I'll come right over. And I'll even bring a dessert.

10. Flip flops. I could live in these sucker year-round if it weren't for that fact that I live in Colorado and they are not helpful when you are shoveling your sidewalk.

So, what are some of your faves? Or are you wanting another round of snow?

Driving Range Woes

Thank you all for your encouragement and support regarding my Ambien-filled collision with Claire's closet. You will be happy to know that I am now functional again and have seemed to tame the beast that is Daylight Savings. Unfortunately, Claire may still be a bit traumatized. Poor thing.

So how was your weekend? It is SPRING, peeps! Doesn't that make you happy? I finally feel like I can wear wedge sandals again. My shoe choice just exploded with possibilities.

On Saturday a few friends and I went to the driving range. I love the driving range. And do you know why? It's because you don't keep score. That's right. It doesn't matter at all. And this is especially beneficial for a girl who quite frequently hits her ball into another fairway. Apparently other golfers don't appreciate this.  Snobs.

On this particular Saturday, my friends and I decided to place a little wager on who could hit the most consistent drives. This is not one of my strong suites because of my general lack of talent. However, I was game because the loser had to buy ice cream. And I wouldn't even know myself if I turned down ice cream.

So we set up our tees and started swinging. We were all doing amazingly well, hitting them consistently past yard markers and impressing ourselves with how much we had improved over the winter months of absolutely zero practice. But the longer we kept going, the more the pressure mounted.

Oh, the pressure. I almost couldn't stand it, I tell you.

Every time you got up to hit, you could just feel yourself thinking, "relax your arms, bend your knees, shift your weight, don't lift your foot, move your hips, don't move your head, don't close eyes, please God let me make contact, follow through, look for your ball, dance around like a lunatic and taunt the next person up."

Or something like that.

This went on for quite a few hits. Like I said, we were extremely impressive.

For the next drive, I tee'd up my ball and began to get into position. And it was at that exact moment that my friends began to tell me all the things wrong with my swing.

"Sarah, you shake your booty when you swing. I don't think that's normal."

"You are too far away from the ball, Rymer. Scoot up."

"Your club head is too open, close it up so the ball doesn't hit one of the cars in the parking lot."

"Yeah, my car. Don't hit my car."

I think I need new friends.

So I lined up, blocked them out of my mind, tried not to think about the tornadic winds that had picked up and threatened to throw my ball back into my face, relaxed my shoulders and swung.

The rush of the wind and the smoothness of my swing were magical. And then I looked for my ball...it had literally dribbled off of the tee. I could have thrown it further.

And with that, I lost.

Who in the world even invented such a stupid game? I mean, seriously. And don't get me started on ice cream now. Even though I lack almost all forms of natural skills and ability, I am blaming my friends. And the wind. And my pink golf club.