So...I have a blind date on Sunday.
Just writing that out makes me nervous.
I admit that dating has been the farthest thing from my mind these days. And after my small jaunt through the dating cyberworld, I have been a bit hesitant to jump back in there. But alas, I do want children someday and it would be really great for someone to know what that particular rattle is in my car, so I guess I had better get back in there.
However, I have decided on a new approach: hopefulness.
You see, I have this phenomenal friend who calls me out on the things that I tend to ignore. She does it with such grace and compassion, always affirming and caring. But she is also firm and unwavering, like two solid kicks to the gut. You got to love friends who hold your hand and slap you around with the other. Truly, that is my favorite kind of friendship.
Anyway, this friend called me out on something I had never realized about myself: I have a hopelessness about dating and marriage. I quickly told her that I am content in my singleness (at least today, anyway) and totally excited about the future. But down deep I knew that she was right. I have given up on it. I have given up on God doing it. And I have definitely given up on the single male population.
This is kind of a big friggin' deal.
She challenged me to find time to sit and pray with God about this. And for me to have a big ugly cry about it. We both agreed that it is really hard to jump back into the dating world when you are expecting it to fail. And it is not fair to my blind date for him to be the means to a free cup of coffee. The poor chap.
So, I am going to give this a shot. I have no idea how it will go on Sunday. I have no idea if I will get nervous and speak in a southern accent or if he will be a big fan of tigers or texting. But I could use some help with being hopeful. Prayers (and cookies) are appreciated.
And I promise to keep you posted.