The New Year Work-Out Groove

Well you guys have done it again. You made me feel adored and celebrated on my birthday, all 34 years of me. You're super great, yes you are. Thank you.

Just so you know, I plan on celebrating all month, it's just how I like to do things. I have the rodeo this weekend, a fabulous little getaway next week, my dad's visit the weekend after and of course, the end-of-your-birthday-month cake.

Don't you guys do that? Have another cake at the end of your birthday month?

You should. It is exactly what you need. Unless your birthday falls at the end of the month and then having two cakes would just be ridiculous.

Speaking of cakes, I have found some horrible awesome new work-outs. I absolutely love/hate them which means they are doing exactly what I want them to do: Kill me then put me back together with less cushioning.

Actually, they are pretty great. Don't let my whining scare you. They only take 10 minutes to do. I do 30 minutes of hard cardio and then one of these every day (with a day off each week). I am not saying that I have dropped a size or anything, especially when there is cake involved, but I will say that I feel great. Like, I can now lift things over my head and run around the block without getting winded, great.

And, they only take 10 MINUTES. That's not even 1/4 of a Netflix show. And since I can power through a Netflix series like a day after Christmas sale at Target, I should be able to live through 10 minutes of muscle confusion and heart palpitations.

In a very weird, sick way, I think I am addicted to them.

(I KNOW!)

(Help me.)

So, this is for your lower half:

 

And for your amazing upper half, give this a try:

If you try them out, let me know what you think.

That is, if you can lift your arms to type it out to me.

Oh, I kid.

Sort of.

 

My Return to the Gym

Yesterday, after work, I went to the gym. I hadn't been in a veeeeeery long time. I have been semi-regular in my workouts at home on the elliptical machine. I have been extremely regular with my trips to the refrigerator. But the gym? Not so much.

Let me begin by saying that the gym still smells like stanky, stinky, funky, sweaty butt. No lie. As much as they spray it down and turn the fans on full-blast, you just can't cover up 24 consecutive hours of active human stench.

Other things have not changed either.

The girls in their teeny, tiny spandex capris, with their back tattoos and their sports bras, are still prancing on the treadmills.

The guys in their sweaty tank tops and their gym shorts are still flexing in the mirrors and walking around like someone pumped them full of helium.

And then there are the masses. Those who somehow crawled out of bed or out of the cars to try their best at doing something other than walking and sitting. These are the people who wear a holey t-shirt from 1997 and do not care what pants they have on just as long as they aren't jeans. Khakis? Maybe. Jeans? No. Too much friction. They sweat and pant and count down the minutes until their cardiac routines are over. They are not there for looks, for socializing, for caring what anyone else thinks. They are there for their health, whether physical or mental, and because today was the day they actually packed their running shoes in their car.

I applaud these people. I love their dedication, their humanity, their humility. I love that they come and put in their time and leave without looking at themselves in the mirror. These are gym warriors, not gym barbies.

I am a pseudo gym warrior wanting to be a gym barbie who somehow spends more time stressing over the gym than actually going to the gym. Or in other words, I am a gym avoider who fears failure but desperately wants to fit in without having to make the commitment.

Or in other words, I am a hot mess.

But yesterday, I came back, in all of my spandex glory.

As I was on the treadmill, busting out the routine I mentioned in yesterdays' post,  I noticed out of my periphery a girl on the treadmill next to me. All I could tell was that she was shorter than me and very fit. So, out of my insane competitive nature and my severe lack of common sense, I upped my incline and my speed, all in an attempt to show the world that a non-petite woman could out-run, out-walk, out-sweat a fit one.

And then I looked at her, for real this time, and noticed one tiny detail:  she appeared to be 15 months pregnant.

Well done, Warrior Princess. You just out-treadmilled a pregnant lady who could probably give birth the next time she sneezes.

The upside to this is that I got in a killer workout. The downside is that I am having trouble walking today. I would consider that a great first visit back to the gym.

Top Ten: Spring Favorites from Pinterest

Holy cow. It is Wednesday already. And guess what? It snowed again in Denver. Apparently we like to call our Spring "Winter" around here.

In spite of the chilly morning and snow on the ground, I am celebrating warm weather in my heart. And do you know why? It is because Pinterest told me I could. There is nothing quite like a virtual bulletin board to make you want to bust out your flip flops!

So, while I wait for the snow to melt, I am here to share my latest favorites for Spring:

1. Statement Necklaces:
Isn't this GORGEOUS? Granted, you can't wear it with everything, but you could plan your entire outfit around this necklace. I am a huge fan.

2. Floral Print
I am a sucker for floral print. It is ultra-feminine but can still be paired with a chunky belt and denim shirt. Love!

3. Chevron.

I love chevron. The end.

4. Coral Bedrooms

I am always in the mood to re-do my bedroom and right now, I am drooling over the neutral/coral/turquoise combination. I could take a serious nap in these rooms.

5. Colorful Bags

I feel like I am perpetually on the hunt for the perfect bag. It is so hard to find the right combination of size, utility, material and color. But these two? I would take them both!

6. Salads

You all know that I am a girl who likes her food. But right now, I am so sick of hot, heavy meals. I yearn for quinoa and kale and fresh corn and fruit. Apparently, I am becoming a rabbit. And I am totally okay with that.

7. New Work Outs

I am always looking for ways to avoid change-up my workouts. Right now, these are the two I am tackling and I love them both. They go by so quickly! If my glutes are hating me then I know I must be doing something right.

Hike It Off: Treadmill Workout from Self Magazine: Set the treadmill at 3.6 mph, and toggle between inclines to simulate hills.
Minutes: 2  Incline: 0 Minutes: 1  Incline: 4
Minutes: 3  Incline: 8
Minutes: 2  Incline: 12
Minutes: 1  Incline: 3
Minutes: 2  Incline: 10
Minutes: 1  Incline: 12
Minutes: 4  Incline: 7
Minutes: 2  Incline: 12
Minutes: 2  Incline: 6
Total: 20 minutes

 

8. Flats

Flats are where it's at. Don't get me wrong, I adore heels, but flats make your life so much more comfortable. And there are so many cute ones out there right now!

9. Twirly Skirts

I love skirts in the spring and summer. And I especially love them if they twirl.

10. Parties

There is nothing I love more than a big backyard party! And once the snow melts and the ice drips off the roof and the ground thaws out and I can once again feel my toes, I am throwing a big backyard bash. Oh yes I am!

Happy, happy Spring, peeps! May you bask in the warmth of the sun today, even if you are wearing a down-filled coat.

Thoughts From The Couch

Yesterday, I worked from home. This migraine continues to linger and my schedule was void of any sort of meeting, gathering, conference or seminar at the office.

Besides, if there is one thing that modern technology has done for the work force it is to allow it to be productive remotely. And by remotely, I mean my couch.

God bless Al Gore for creating the Internet.

As I was sitting there, checking email, sipping coffee and eating cookies for breakfast, I collected a few thoughts that I wanted to share with you:

1. P90X is nuts. I saw an infomercial for it yesterday and once again concluded that Tony Something-or-Other is a little bit on the cray-cray side of life. I once attempted P90X, (or I should actually say, P38X, because I was only able to do it for 38 days), and concluded that it was way too time-consuming for my very busy life. For a brief moment, I was tempted to try it again yesterday, but then I remembered that my left elbow still only functions as eye candy and my ability to tolerate Tony's pep is almost non-existent. But, you have got to give the man props for doing so many pull-ups.

2. Life is better in pajamas.

3. I am in the middle of designing my Gourmet Girl to Go website. It is both exciting and mind-numbing. Exciting, because I can't wait to officially launch it and mind-numbing, because website templates may be the death of me. But I am loving the process of starting my own business. Wowza.

4. Sunshine has the ability to change your outlook on life. For the first time in many days, the temperature rose above freezing yesterday and the sun had a huge role to play in that. I am a summer girl, through and through.

5. Sara's Oatmeal Cinnamon Bliss Bars continue to rock my world. So simple yet so delicious. I had dinner with Sara last night and we both concluded that while cinnamon chips seem to only be a seasonal item, butterscotch chips, chocolate chips, dried cranberries or nuts would all be equally amazing in the recipe. The possibilities are endless, really. Basically, the dough is a blank canvas and you are the artist. Go forth, creative ones, and bake!

6. My hair is slightly out of control. And that may have something to do with the fact I haven't washed it since Monday.

7. Kim Kardashian and K-Middy are both due with their babies in July. I am not sure how I feel about this. I really don't think those two should ever be in the same sentence together. But what is even more alarming is that I have opinions about this.

8. When I was younger, I had a horse named Honey. I had a cousin who liked to call her Hiney. We keep things classy in Oklahoma.

9. I am slightly concerned about saving for retirement. I really don't know how to do it. I mean, I am invested at work, but after that, it's like speaking Chinese. I either need to figure this out so I don't live with Claire when I retire or I need to marry rich. I think we all know which is the better choice here.

10. Someone sent me a greeting last week that said: "Happy birthday, Sarah. I hope this year is much better for you than it was for Jesus at your age." 

Apparently being 33 is fraught with danger. I think I will avoid Jerusalem this year.

Happy, happy Thursday to you!

A Brand New Year

It is a brand-spankin' new year, my friends!

I love this day. I love the newness, the freshness, the hope that a new year brings. Hopefully this optimism will carry us right on through the dark days of winter without needing bags of chocolate chips as comfort.

I had thought that I would write a few more posts in 2012 to help close out the year, but I just couldn't do it. I was so ready for the year to be over I didn't have any more words to say about it. It was a long, hard year. I even went to bed before midnight last night.

But today is a new day! The sun is shining, my legs are shaved and I avoided simple carbohydrates for breakfast. We are off to a fantastic start. And I have decided that I am claiming 2013 as the Year of Health. I am thinking I may need theme music for this.

I am striving for financial health: save more, spend less.

I am striving for physical health: move more, eat less.

I am striving for emotional health: laugh more, stress less.

And I am striving for relational health: I think it would be fun to avoid all Textinators.

These are my goals, my resolutions. And I have 365 days to work on them. I have realized that I do not have much control over things in this world, but what I do have control over needs to be healthy.

So here's to a low-stress, cellulite-free, love-filled year!

I hope your 2013 is off to a great start!

Top Ten: Why I Am Addicted to the Olympics

Peeps.

I don't know about you, but my entire life revolves around the Olympics right now. I have watched more television in the last four days than I have the entire summer (minus the time when I watched every episode of Roswell). Last night, I dreamt about swimming. I either need to get a new life or I need to ride this wave for the next two weeks and soak up every minute.

I am even tweeting with a few of the athletes.

I think I need an intervention.

So, after four non-stop days of my new addiction, here are my thoughts on why these games are so great:

1. Team USA. Every time the Olympics roll around, I feel like it is the 4th of July on steroids. Patriotism is running amuck and I love every second of it. I tear up every time I hear our anthem, which usually means we are getting a gold medal. Double bonus.

2. Bob Costas. It is his voice that I hear in my head anytime I think of the Olympics. He has a way of making you feel like everything is okay, even if we are getting crushed by the Chinese. And I may be wrong, but I think he actually has a sense of humor this year.

3. London. For all the turmoil and controversy that have surrounded this Olympics (security, tickets, traffic), I am an anglophile at heart. England was my first international experience (at the ripe age of 17) and I love seeing those famous landmarks that hold so many great memories for me. Besides, I love a country that has royalty. And scones.

4. Gymnastics. This has always been my favorite summer Olympic sport. For exactly three months, I too was a gymnast. I particularly rocked the balance beam and the floor routine, but then I grew 9 inches and realized I may be a better shot putter. Regardless, I am loving the Fab Five and I am constantly amazed by their athleticism and talent. My heart is a little broken over Jordyn Wieber missing the all-around because of some ridiculous rule, but maybe she can make a comeback in Rio in four years. I am totally rooting for this. Oh, and tonight's team finals should be UH-MAZING.

(SIDE NOTE: Aaagghhh! I just saw the results. I hate spoilers. But it should be a very fun evening of gymnastics!)

5. Missy Franklin. Not only do I love this girl because she is from Colorado, but I especially love her for her humility. She is unbelievable and I wish her 79 more gold medals in the future. Oh, and she is 17. Seriously.

6. The Commercials. GE. P&G. Coca-Cola. You guys are rocking it. You are making me weep like a big baby. And you are making me want to thank my mom more often. Keep it up, Corporate America. These are the kinds of commercials we need on air.

7. Diving. This sport mesmerizes me, especially the synchronized diving. Their flexibility and control are breathtaking. And I love how they all hang out in a hot tub together.

8. Motivation. I don't know about you, but I feel like the biggest slug during these games. So, I have started doing push-ups and squats during the commercial breaks in an attempt to look as good as Lolo. I have a ways to go.

9. Swimming. This is the one sport that has everyone glued to their monitors. Thanks to Michael, Ryan, Missy, Natalie and countless others, the popularity of swimming has increased dramatically over the past decade, and not just for the eye candy. I find myself screaming at the television, jumping up and down, cheering for our swimmers like I am watching college football. Granted, these races occurred seven hours earlier and the outcomes are already on the internet, but I find that I am so excited about swimming.

10. Personal Stories. I love the personal stories of the athletes. I love seeing their hometowns, I love meeting their parents, I love knowing how hard they have worked and trained to get there. They make the Olympic games personal, meaningful and more than just another sporting event. It is the process that matters, not necessarily the outcome. There are so few opportunities when countries from around the world come together and have goals in common, and these personal stories are the glue that holds it all together.


So, are you addicted like me? Will we need to go through withdrawal together? Good thing there are still 13 more days to go!

First Half of 32

Today is my half-birthday. (Please, no gifts.) But I do like to recognize this day solely for the fact that my birthday comes 15 days after Christmas, smack-dab in the middle of winter, when no one has the desire to celebrate nor has any money for presents. July 9 just seems like a much happier day.

I decided that it would be a good idea to do a review of the list I wrote six months ago. I have included it for you as a reminder, because to be honest, I had forgotten about this list so I really don't expect you to remember it either.

Without further ado, here it is. You may need to take a nap afterward.

1. Eat more fish. I have never liked seafood but I am learning to like salmon. And perhaps if salmon doesn't taste too bad, then other slimy water-dwelling creatures don't taste half-bad either. Let's hope so. I had some salmon two months ago. Success!

2. Wear shorts. This was a goal last year that fell short when I rediscovered cream cheese frosting. But I am determined to overcome that current obsession.  I have successfully graduated out of my cream cheese phase (minus the cake I devoured on the 4th of July) but my legs are not quite ready for shorts. Almost, but not quite. They're a little shy.


3. Travel to a new country. Tunisia, Egypt, New Zealand, Peru and Cyprus all sound exciting right now.  For those of you who are new to this site, I hopped on a plane in March and explored all that Tunisia had to offer, minus the Star Wars set. It was fantastic. Oh, and I totally think Vegas counts too.

4. Renew my passport so I can travel to a new country. This happened. See above.

5. Have regular quiet time in the mornings. This is so hard for me but it makes such a huge difference in my day. Oh gosh. Here is my brutal reality check. This is still not happening, people. Partly because I have been in a bit of a spiritual drought lately and the other part is because I have been staying up too late watching reruns on Hulu. However, today I woke up with the desire to do this and I consider that half the battle.

6. Highlight my hair. Granted, this can be difficult with hair as dark as mine but I am thinking it is time to spruce it up a little. Besides, I am tired of plucking out gray hairs with my tweezers. I did this. And I love it. And I haven't had to use my tweezers in a very long time.


7. Take a road trip or four. I live for the open highway and a box of Crunch 'n' Munch. I have taken approximately 20 road trips to Alamosa. Does that count?


8. Save more money. There is something so rewarding about not spending money. I am doing fantastically well at this unless there is something new I want to buy, like high heels or a cruise.


9. Do yoga regularly. This has yet to happen.


10. Donate or throw away things that I do not use or do not wear. After moving last week, the last thing I want to do is haul that stuff around again. Oh, this happens regularly. I clean out my closet almost every month. It is so liberating.


11. Fall in love. It's just time, people. I think we all know that this one is still waiting in the wings. But at least he has a letter to help him figure it out.


12. Give myself more grace. God pours it out but I often refuse it. I need to embrace it, forgive myself and move on. Oh man. I am pretty sure I will work at this for the rest of my life.


13. Play more golf. And that means more than just the driving range. So far, I have only gone to the driving range. But I am pretty sure there is a Par 3 with my name on it.


14. Wear heels more often. They do wonders for your butt. You better believe this is happening. I bought a pair of gold sparkly heels that are so fabulous I could just scream.


15. Set better boundaries. I am really working on this but boundaries can quickly become blurred. As my sister says "own your yard," meaning I don't need to take care of your yard and my yard and my neighbor's yard and everyone else's yard. My yard is big enough, thank you. Owning a yard takes a lot of work and boundaries are the only thing that keep it from becoming too big. I love boundaries, don't you?


16. Take better care of my skin. It's a bit parched these days. There has been an improvement in this area! For my birthday, I asked for gift cards to Origins. And after a lot of research and smelling each sample, I have finally found the most amazing night cream for my face. For all the girls out there, you know this is a major victory in the area of self preservation and hydration. I only wish I could bathe in it.


17. Be more spontaneous. This is so darn tricky for me because I love to plan! And planned spontaneity does not count. So, give me a holler and ask me to do something. I'll do my best to not bring my planner along with me. I am planning on doing this more often.


18. Attempt to wear leggings. Oh gosh, this could be disastrous. Yeah, this hasn't happened yet. Granted, it has been 169 degrees here lately but I may aim to accomplish this in the Fall. I will keep you posted.


19. Listen to Noah. Soak up his stories, his theories on life, his imagination and his advice for my love life (oh, believe me, he has them). He is growing up so fast. I love this one. And yes, he does have some pretty amazing stories, like telling me that I am the fifth most beautiful person, right after Mary, Jesus' mother.

20. Be more bold. And this includes my actions, my words, my stance on what I believe, my fashion choices and lipstick color. I am wearing red pants with a turquoise necklace, does that count? And I have found that as I accept more grace and draw better boundaries, my boldness jumps in. I love how that works.


21. Get some muscle definition. Apparently I lost my muscles over the Christmas season. With the inclusion of squats and push-ups, and with the exclusion of cookie dough, this is beginning to happen. I'll let you know if the trade-off is worth it.

22. See more of my extended family. And that means you Becky, Matt, Jenny, Charley, Kellie, Nathan, Sherri, Edwin, Tammy, Duwayne, Rick, Kim, Diane, Terry, Lori, Thad, Spencer, Amy, Alan, Carolyn, Bruce, Chelsea, Katie, Vadim, McKenzie, Kristen, Chad, Marge, Larry, Dedra, Dale, Donna, Don, DeLynn, Linda, Mike, Tim, Kathy, Shane, Erica, John, Jenny, Patricia, Tyler, Ryan, Pamela and the two sets of twins. Plus the other 28,480 that I did not mention. Sadly, this has not happened. I saw a few cousins in May but that is it. And considering I have many, many more to see, I should probably get on this. Of course, they could always come to Colorful Colorado for a visit...


23. Be radical for Jesus. I am not sure what this looks like but I'm game. I really, really want this.

24. Sleep more. Yes, please. I have found that I sleep more on the weekends yet sleep less during the week. I am assuming those two are connected.

25. Laugh more. Yes, please. Peeps, I have some very funny friends! (And yes, I am talking about you, Melissa.) And I also have an older brother who just has to walk by me and I start laughing. The more these people are in my life, the more I am laughing.


26. Exercise more. My treadmill and I have been estranged, it's time to rekindle the relationship. Done and done.


27. Bake more. Yes, please. Actually, I have baked less this year (see #'s 2, 21 and 26), but I have something fun to share with you very soon that may have me baking like a crazy woman! 


28. Be less judgemental. Camp Alamosa is really helping with this. In progress...

29. Stop obsessing over my appearance. Give it a rest, Sarah. Give it a rest. Oy ve. Sometimes I am highly successful at this; other times this threatens to take over my life. I am not sure if that is normal.


30. Bake homemade bread. I am still afraid of yeast but I think this is the year to conquer it. Fingers crossed. I am still totally afraid of yeast. Perhaps October will be a good month to tackle this.


31. Be less fearful of failure, pain, disappointment, embarrassment and vulnerability. Come to terms with the fact that I DO NOT have it all together. Why in the world did I write this? Of course I have it all together.


32. Be a guest host on Saturday Night Live. I am just waiting to hear from Lorne Michaels. He said he would get right back to me.


So, how is the first half of your year shaping up?

A List About Aliens and Chumps

Happy July! Isn't it crazy that we are already half-way through this year? I am not quite sure how that is possible other than the fact that the sun keeps rising and setting.

I obviously have a reached an all-time low in coming up with interesting things to share with you. My days are full of work, the treadmill and some form of extra-curricular activity in the evening, like watching Hulu or napping. The weather in Colorado has resembled the surface of the sun which makes it hard to be outside without burning to a crisp. However, the weatherman did say that the monsoon season has come so we may experience a cooling off. We can only hope.

So, I have a list for you. It's how I roll when I don't know how to put words into paragraphs. And feel free to reply in list form as well. I really like to keep things organized.

1. I have a new TV addiction: Roswell. I know, I know, it is totally corny but I am loving this show for all the right reasons: it has great '90's music, it makes me want to wear a flannel shirt, and I have a thing for aliens who have really obnoxious hair.

For example:

I AM NOT PROUD OF THIS, PEOPLE!

Like I said, I have reached an all-time low.

2. Tomorrow is our country's birthday! For my entire life I have spent this holiday in Oklahoma. However, this year, I will be in Colorado, watching fireworks on TV and missing the sound of the bug zapper on my grandpa's back porch. However, there is a parade and pie baking contest in our neighborhood so at least I will be well-fed. And besides, it is a day off in the middle of the week! That never happens.

What are your plans for tomorrow's celebration?

3. On Saturday, I visited my dad in Alamosa. He is doing great, by the way. We celebrated his birthday with double chocolate brownies and a trip to Walmart. We pretty much bring the party with us wherever we go. We also visited the sand dunes on our way back. They are spectacular! I would highly recommend a visit to see them if you are ever in the middle of nowhere, Colorado.

4. My half birthday is coming up. I just thought you should know.

5. In response to last week's post, "Dear Future Husband," many of you asked about the mystery man who replied in the comments section. As you will see, he said he would pick me up for a date on Friday at 8:00 pm. But I am here to report to you that the chump never showed up. Typical.

6. I have decided that my new goal is to see Dave Matthews in concert this year. I am not quite sure how this will be possible since he is not coming to Colorado, but I am not opposed to road tripping it somewhere just to catch a show. Granted, I may need to start a scholarship fund to make this happen.

In conclusion, I hope you have a wonderful 4th of July tomorrow! I will be sure to eat a few bowls of homemade ice cream just for you.

Motivation

It's true. I thought of this on the treadmill yesterday and I nearly wiped out.

And then I laughed at myself because we all know that I would have died early on because I hate to hike.

A Pinterest Confession

I have a complicated relationship with Pinterest.

Pinterest is one of those tools that is so completely simple and brilliant that it makes me wonder how I ever came up with a creative idea on my own. Of course I did have a ghetto version back in 1993 when I actually owned a bulletin board with various ideas and dreams pinned to it. But who has the time, space or available cork to have an actual real one these days?

Unless, of course, you get the idea from Pinterest to buy a real one and put it on your wall.

I have spent so many otherwise productive hours pinning everything I could ever possibly want for myself, my home, and my life. The fact that it is so easily available on my phone makes even the DMV enjoyable.

It is truly a modern miracle.

However, I have a confession about Pinterest: I have a severe lack of follow-through.

This became the topic of conversation between Rachel and me the other night. And we both agreed that there is a lot of pressure to be a Pinterest All-Star, when in reality, I am more of a Pinterest Bench Warmer.

Believe me, my intentions are pure. I want to make all of those things. I want to be the kind of person who not only bakes a mean salted caramel brownie, but can also make her own pillows, apply her own amazing eyeshadow, wear the most amazing clothes without looking like I tried, do the latest thigh-trimming workout, and plan my wedding all at the same time.

Oh, and wear killer high heels while doing it.

The fact is, I have only made one of the sixty-one recipes I have pinned.

The fact is, I have planned my wedding without having a groom.

The fact is, I don't even own a house to make-over.

The fact is, I really suck at applying eyeshadow.

And who in the world wants to spend time trimming their thighs?

Exactly.

So, dear readers, let the world know that all of those amazing ideas that I collect and admire are only just ideas at this point.

I am just thankful there is an app to hold them all!

Lost

Over the course of the last five weeks, I have lost the following from my life:

11 pounds

10 inches

My fear of Workout Barbie at the gym

My inability to conquer bad habits

My ability to be my own worst enemy


Thank you for being my cheerleaders, my encouragers, my voice of reason and tough love. You are so fantastic. This is 32 years in the making and I couldn't have done it without you.

Now, I am off to the gym. There's no going back for this girl.

Needed: Tough Love

People, there are only two weeks left until I leave for Las Vegas. Can you even believe it? I can't. It's like May is flying by at the speed of light and all I can show for it are daily meltdowns on the treadmill and a nephew who is one year older.

Oh, and a painting. I did paint something...although I am really not sure what that is. And in case you are wondering, I stuck that blue-dotted masterpiece on a wall in a spare room at my parent's house. I consider it an anniversary gift. I am sure they will love it forever.

Anywhoo...

This wedding, it's coming. And I have made some fabulous progress towards not looking like a hot dog! But lately, I find that I really, really want to eat donuts. But I also know that donuts have the ability to hang out on my thighs and never leave. Never, ever leave.

So, I am imploring you for some inspiration. Help me stay on track. Give me the statistics for what one donut will do to me, let alone an entire dozen (which is what I would call a typical serving size).

Give it to me straight, people.

I need tough love.

And a little encouragement.

Or a new pair of stretchy pants.

Either way.

Thank you a ton.

You're the best.

Word to your mother.

Tears on the Treadmill

You guys, I have been living at the gym lately.

Well not really. I spend an hour there everyday but it feels like living, especially since I previously only owned a membership just to sound cool. But now I have that dress to wear and a wedding to attend and a summer to conquer. And for the first time ever, I feel like I can actually do it.

I think I may need a theme song. Suggestions are welcome.

So yesterday, as I was running and wishing I had larger lung capacity, I decided to watch Dr. Oz. I find him inspirational and informative and a lot less annoying than most talk show hosts. Yesterday's episode focused on the Transformation Nation campaign where people across the country are trying to be healthier, resulting in one person winning a million dollars.

SIDE NOTE: Why didn't I know about this six months ago? Apparently I am little late to this party.

Anyway, the top ten finalists were on the show and Dr. Oz interviewed each one. And let me tell you something: they are freaking amazing! One guy is losing weight so he can donate one of his kidneys to his ill wife; one woman is becoming a wellness coach to help inspire others; and another guy has encouraged more than 400 people to start living a healthier lifestyle. They were all so happy and encouraging and fit.

And before I knew it, I was blubbering on the treadmill. And I am pretty sure I was loud about it. And what is so strange about this entire thing is that I am not a crier. I tend to be the stoic type or only cry at Hallmark commercials, but yesterday's episode went straight to my heart and there I was, crying like a big, sweaty baby.

Transformation makes me weepy.

Which, by the way, did not help with my breathing. Actually, it rather hindered it and there may have been a snort involved. But let's pretend that didn't happen. And I am sure the person next to me enjoyed my public display of emotion, or PDE as I like to call it. Hopefully I didn't interrupt their stride.

But I realize I am not there to impress people with my athletic prowess, I am only there to survive my workout and come back again the next day. And if this process makes me emotional and my fellow treadmillers can't handle it, then they can run outside and hope a bird doesn't poop on them.

Operation: Don't Look Like a Sausage in your Bridesmaids Dress cannot be stopped!

One Size Smaller or Bust

Wow.

You are spectacular. Thank you for the sweet emails, texts and comments about yesterday's post. Glory to God that He gives us such stupendous freedom! I could seriously bust out some jazz hands right about now.

You made my day.


So, in other news, let's talk about this Vegas wedding, shall we?

It is almost five weeks away and I am in full "get your booty to the gym" mode. I spent most of my winter eating entire pans of brownies so it was way past time for me to get back at it. And all it takes is one three-way mirror to make you find your motivation.

So far, this is what my week has looked like:

Monday, I ran.

Tuesday, I did high intensity circuit training.

Today, I can't move the lower half of my body.

In other words, I feel awesome!

Other than wanting to feel better, I have another reason for this sudden surge of motivation: I ordered my bridesmaids dress one size smaller than what I normally wear.

SAY WHAT?!

I know, it's true. It's like the cardinal rule of what NOT to do for any wedding. But, in my defense, the dress was no longer available in my size and I could either go up or down...so I chose down. I am nothing if not optimistic, people.

The dress that I had ordered last week finally arrived and I didn't care for it so I had to start looking again. And I know there are literally thousands of black dresses out there but I just really love this one. It is one that will work for a wedding but I could also wear again. And how often can you say that about a bridesmaids dress? Practically never.

And besides, I have hips that were either created for child birth or Latin ballroom dancing so I need something that works with me, not against me.

Here is a picture of the dress:

With our black dresses, we are wearing red shoes for the wedding. I am going with a pair of my favorite shoes of all time:

I may even buy a fun clip to add to them, you know, just for a little Vegas flair.

So, there you have it. That is why I have not posted recipes and pictures of peanut butter caramel dipped in dark chocolate. I have a dress to fit into and I don't want it to make me look like a sausage. And I don't want all of my blood, sweat and tears to be for nothing. I can do that without the treadmill.

I Repeat: I Am Not Swimsuit Ready

I just got word today that this is where I will be staying for part of my time in Tunisia.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I can barely hobble down the sidewalk let alone strut around in a swimsuit. And for the record, I have never "strutted." I am more of a cowerer. I am sure everyone will thank me for this since I have practically eaten my way through this winter.

Well, the upside is that the Mediterranean does look especially appealing. And who knew Tunisia had water slides and paragliding? It's almost like I am taking a trip to Disneyland and not some post-revolutionary Arabic country.

These things truly boggle my mind.

I'll Pretend I Have Swagger

I have sprained my foot, my right foot. The one that I broke four years ago and couldn't use for five months and was completely dependent on everyone to drive me everywhere all the time.

The only bonus was that I had ginormous triceps by the end of those five months. However, I haven't seen them since.

Good grief, this right foot has been through a lot.

As with the broken foot, I don't know how I sprained it this time. All I know was that I was on the treadmill and I was actually running and by the end of the run my foot was hurting. I thought it may be my running shoes so I loosened the laces and hobbled out of the gym looking forward to some ibuprofen. And by the time I had walked the aisles of Target after my workout, my hobble had turned into a severe limp and I almost asked someone to push me in my buggy.

After a few days of limping and moaning and buying new running shoes, I finally went to the doctor because I just wanted to know if I was going to need a walking boot in Tunisia. I have taken a walking boot to Africa before and let me tell you something: it is extremely hard to get through security quickly with those things. Thankfully, after the doc poked and prodded, he concluded that it is a sprain and that all I need is ice and Advil and try not to put too much weight on it, which is excactly why I was on the treadmill in the first place.

Everything is circular in my world.

So, if you see me hobbling, just pretend I have some swagger. It can only help my coolness factor.

Top Ten: Observations from the Gym

I have returned to the gym, people. It was past time. I realized that in order for me to be more consistent in working out, I needed to physically leave my house. My discipline on my treadmill at home had been lacking, i.e. I would bring a snack with me. For some reason I wasn't seeing the desired results.

So, for the past few weeks, I have been going to gym at all hours of the day. And during my time there I have come up with a few observations:

1. I don't like for people to be on either side of me when I am on the treadmill/elliptical/stair climber. I get intimidated, which causes me to look at their machine to see how fast they are going, which causes me to go faster, which in turn leads to a heart attack or complete collapse of my muscular system. Apparently my pride and insecurities cause me to act like a triathlete when I am actually more of a napper.

2. Working out is a very personal, private thing. Most people are in their own worlds, listening to music, reading or watching TV. They are not chatting, they are not Facebooking, they are merely focused. I appreciate this.

3. Gyms smell funky. No matter how many fans may be blowing or how often they clean the equipment, gyms have a foul stinky stank to them. You just can't avoid it.

4. I admire the people who swim for their workout because I do not particularly love to swim. There is too much time involved, from the primping to be seen in a swimsuit, to the actual swimming, to the getting out of the pool without looking like you need a forklift, to the showering, blow drying, curling, moisturizing and overall complete make-over that has to happen afterwards. I just don't have that kind of time, nor do I own a swim cap or goggles. I am fairly certain that would not be my best look.

5. I have given up completely on looking cute at the gym. I just can't pull it off. Some girls can and I secretly loathe them. Their sweat is even cute. Mine? Not so much.

6. The guys in the weight area always make me giggle inside of my head. Their behavior is quite predictable: walk around, find some weights, move so they can watch themselves in the mirror, lift weights, put them down, flex. Repeat. Giggle, giggle, giggle.

7. The classes that are offered also intimidate me. What if I am the only one in the room who can't hack it? What if I flail my arms too much? What if I am wearing the wrong type of stretchy pants? What if it is completely full of cute girls? It's just too stressful.

8. Personal hygiene is of utmost importance in this type of setting. UTMOST IMPORTANCE. Do whatever you need to do, but come to the gym clean. Your shower routine has a direct impact on my ability to focus. And with my coordination, I need to focus.

9. Hulu Plus on the iPhone has revolutionized my cardio workouts. I can burn off 300 calories while watching Modern Family. It's a win/win.

10. People of all sizes come to the gym. And people of all sizes work really hard to get fit. I admire this and it causes me to work out harder.

So there you have it! Feel free to contribute. Or come to a class with me. I could use a buddy.

Monday Brain

My brain feels like a big bowl of oatmeal today. The old fashioned kind, not the swanky instant kind. I am completely void of all swank today. So a list is definitely in order. It's the only way anything will make sense.

1. My hair is very poofy for some reason. VERY. I look like I invested in Aqua Net or something.

2. I got my new passport in the mail. I have a love/hate relationship with it already. I love it because it gives me freedom to explore new places and return to some of my favorites. I hate it because I have to memorize a new number and I don't have all the cool stamps I used to. Plus, my face looks orange. I have never been orange a day in my life. I am usually fairly pasty.

3. I went to the D Bar with my good friend Sara on Friday.

It was amazing. If you live in Denver, you should definitely go. We got to sit at the bar and watch the pastry chef work his magic. He truly is an artist. We both ordered baked mac and cheese (Sara got hers with lobster!) and then we both had various forms of chocolate for dessert.

Exhibit A:  Cake and shake

Exhibit B: Salted caramel boat of chocolate goodness and some other yummy things.

4. I did at least 50 lunges, along with 30 dead lifts and 25 split squats on Saturday and I can barely move anything below my waist.  My quads scream at me anytime I think about moving. And heaven forbid I drop anything. I am thinking it will just have to stay there and I'll come back on Wednesday when my muscles don't feel like slabs of marble.

5. I am wearing a blazer today. I love blazers. They solve most fashion problems. Don't you agree? Maybe not? I don't know.

6. Is it March yet? It should be.

7.  My dad's hearing is one week from today. I know so many of you are praying. You rock. And thank you.

8. I did not get out of my pajamas yesterday. Total bliss.

And...that's all I've got. I hope your Monday brain is more of the instant kind of oatmeal.

A Salted Caramel Cheat Day

Yesterday was my cheat day. Every other day I try to be good and eat my organic spinach and hummus and lentils and avoid all types of sugar. But on the seventh day, there is no piece of chocolate or slice of pizza that is safe. For example, I started the day with pumpkin pancakes and bacon and ended it with cheesy garlic knots.

A total and complete success.

However, I still hadn't had my weeks worth of desserts yet and I wasn't sure what sounded good. So as I was strolling the aisles of Target yesterday, I happened upon this:






And I knew right then that my world was complete.

SWEET. MERCY. This stuff is what ice cream should taste like, and it is especially good with a large spoon while you are standing over the kitchen sink. I am pretty sure you could drench an old shoe in salted caramel and it would taste amazing.

There is still quite a bit left so I hid it in my freezer so I won't see it taunting me all week. But if you get a chance and you are in desperate need of something absolutely delectable, run to your nearest grocery store and dive right in. You may even want to bring your own spoon so you can eat it in the parking lot. There is no shame when it comes to this ice cream.

32 Things

I turned the big 3-2 yesterday! You know, the birthday where you realize you are well into your 30's but you are still in denial that you are not in your 20's? Yep, that's the one.

So in honor of this underwhelming milestone, I have come up with 32 things I would like to do this year! If you have a minute or twenty, this is the post for you. Some are fun, some are serious, and some are life-changing. Here they are in no particular order:

1. Eat more fish. I have never liked seafood but I am learning to like salmon. And perhaps if salmon doesn't taste too bad, then other slimy water-dwelling creatures don't taste half-bad either. Let's hope so.

2. Wear shorts. This was a goal last year that fell short when I rediscovered cream cheese frosting. But I am determined to overcome that current obsession.

3. Travel to a new country. Tunisia, Egypt, New Zealand, Peru and Cyprus all sound exciting right now.

4. Renew my passport so I can travel to a new country.

5. Have regular quiet time in the mornings. This is so hard for me but it makes such a huge difference in my day.

6. Highlight my hair. Granted, this can be difficult with hair as dark as mine but I am thinking it is time to spruce it up a little. Besides, I am tired of plucking out gray hairs with my tweezers.

7. Take a road trip or four. I live for the open highway and a box of Crunch 'n' Munch.

8. Save more money. There is something so rewarding about not spending money.

9. Do yoga regularly.

10. Donate or throw away things that I do not use or do not wear. After moving last week, the last thing I want to do is haul that stuff around again.

11. Fall in love. It's just time, people.

12. Give myself more grace. God pours it out but I often refuse it. I need to embrace it, forgive myself and move on.

13. Play more golf. And that means more than just the driving range.

14. Wear heels more often. They do wonders for your butt.

15. Set better boundaries. I am really working on this but boundaries can quickly become blurred. As my sister says "own your yard," meaning I don't need to take care of your yard and my yard and my neighbor's yard and everyone else's yard. My yard is big enough, thank you.

16. Take better care of my skin. It's a bit parched these days.

17. Be more spontaneous. This is so darn tricky for me because I love to plan! And planned spontaneity does not count. So, give me a holler and ask me to do something. I'll do my best to not bring my planner along with me.

18. Attempt to wear leggings. Oh gosh, this could be disastrous.

19. Listen to Noah. Soak up his stories, his theories on life, his imagination and his advice for my love life (oh, believe me, he has them). He is growing up so fast.

20. Be more bold. And this includes my actions, my words, my stance on what I believe, my fashion choices and lipstick color.

21. Get some muscle definition. Apparently I lost my muscles over the Christmas season.

22. See more of my extended family. And that means you Becky, Matt, Jenny, Charley, Kellie, Nathan, Sherri, Edwin, Tammy, Duwayne, Rick, Kim, Diane, Terry, Lori, Thad, Spencer, Amy, Alan, Carolyn, Bruce, Chelsea, Katie, Vadim, McKenzie, Kristen, Chad, Marge, Larry, Dedra, Dale, Donna, Don, DeLynn, Linda, Mike, Tim, Kathy, Shane, Erica, John, Jenny, Patricia, Tyler, Ryan, Pamela and the two sets of twins. Plus the other 28,480 that I did not mention.

23. Be radical for Jesus. I am not sure what this looks like but I'm game.

24. Sleep more. Yes, please.

25. Laugh more. Yes, please.

26.  Exercise more. My treadmill and I have been estranged, it's time to rekindle the relationship.

27. Bake more. Yes, please.

28. Be less judgemental. Camp Alamosa is really helping with this.

29. Stop obsessing over my appearance. Give it a rest, Sarah. Give it a rest.

30. Bake homemade bread. I am still afraid of yeast but I think this is the year to conquer it. Fingers crossed.

31. Be less fearful of failure, pain, disappointment, embarrassment and vulnerability. Come to terms with the fact that I DO NOT have it all together.

32. Be a guest host on Saturday Night Live.


Oh boy. There you have it, 32 goals for year 32.  Did you make any goals for this new year? Are you 32 and thriving? I surely hope so!