Day 189

I got to see this handsome gent on Saturday:

We went out to a new restaurant in town that serves the best artichoke dip in the entire world. We also went to Walmart because that is what you do when you go to Alamosa. The rest of the time was spent at his office talking and looking at each other. Honestly, I can't think of any other time in my life when I have spent this much quality time with my dad.

God uses all things, does He not?

As I was sitting at his desk working on his computer, I found this on the wall:

We are at day 189 today.

But we are on day 189 of seeing God do amazing things.

I live in the midst of a holy tension.

"Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners,

and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering."

                                                     -Hebrews 13:3

News from the Orphanage

Last week, after many of you expressed an interest in giving a few dollars for a bink or two, I wrote to my colleague Freddie to tell her about your response. And let me tell you something: she was overwhelmed!

Here is an excerpt from her email:

"This is totally awesome. Thank you! Thank you! The prayers are sooo appreciated also.

Also, the money is super great. We have all these project ideas for the assistantes maternelles and babies but still need to raise funds for it. But God is providing in a great way. We also have people from a church in Texas (related to Kathy) who will donate uniforms for the nurses (you know, the beautiful, colorful ones) this summer. Also, we have a list of things needed and I am forwarding it to you. Just in case. Someone might ask. You never know. Blink!

(Items include: bath towels, wash cloths, bibs, sheets, baby bottles, baby spoons, bowls, cups, musical toys (without batteries), dishes for the nurses and a coffee machine.)

And, yes, I did cry while reading your blog!"


I asked Freddie for a picture that has been approved for publication by the orphanage and here is the one she sent:

Isn't he ADORABLE?! Seriously, I could just kiss his cheeks off!

This orphanage is beautiful and the babies are so clean and well-cared for. The Tunisian women who run these facilities are smart, competent and compassionate. The problem is that there are not enough people and resources for them to give these babies the kind of attention they need, including the arms to hold them. Freddie's passion is to do just that: love on these babies so they will develop properly.

I am 'this close' to quitting my day job and moving there to help her out. But I am so glad we are all on the same team. And so are you. The purpose of this blog is not meant as a fundraising tool, but I believe that we are called to give and God is glorified when we do! So if your heart is moved by these babies and the work going on in Tunisia, then by all means, get on this bandwagon!

Here's the info again:

1. Visit the IDEAS website at www.ideasworld.org/give
2. Fill out the online giving form and in the "Notes" section, write "Herrera/baby"

I told Noah that I am going to take him with me on my next trip to Tunisia. He asked, "What will we do there, Sarah?"

And I said, "Well, we'll ride some camels and play with babies."

He grinned and thought that sounded like a great plan. And then he asked if he could fit his dad into his suitcase so he could come too.

No problem, kiddo.

One Size Smaller or Bust

Wow.

You are spectacular. Thank you for the sweet emails, texts and comments about yesterday's post. Glory to God that He gives us such stupendous freedom! I could seriously bust out some jazz hands right about now.

You made my day.


So, in other news, let's talk about this Vegas wedding, shall we?

It is almost five weeks away and I am in full "get your booty to the gym" mode. I spent most of my winter eating entire pans of brownies so it was way past time for me to get back at it. And all it takes is one three-way mirror to make you find your motivation.

So far, this is what my week has looked like:

Monday, I ran.

Tuesday, I did high intensity circuit training.

Today, I can't move the lower half of my body.

In other words, I feel awesome!

Other than wanting to feel better, I have another reason for this sudden surge of motivation: I ordered my bridesmaids dress one size smaller than what I normally wear.

SAY WHAT?!

I know, it's true. It's like the cardinal rule of what NOT to do for any wedding. But, in my defense, the dress was no longer available in my size and I could either go up or down...so I chose down. I am nothing if not optimistic, people.

The dress that I had ordered last week finally arrived and I didn't care for it so I had to start looking again. And I know there are literally thousands of black dresses out there but I just really love this one. It is one that will work for a wedding but I could also wear again. And how often can you say that about a bridesmaids dress? Practically never.

And besides, I have hips that were either created for child birth or Latin ballroom dancing so I need something that works with me, not against me.

Here is a picture of the dress:

With our black dresses, we are wearing red shoes for the wedding. I am going with a pair of my favorite shoes of all time:

I may even buy a fun clip to add to them, you know, just for a little Vegas flair.

So, there you have it. That is why I have not posted recipes and pictures of peanut butter caramel dipped in dark chocolate. I have a dress to fit into and I don't want it to make me look like a sausage. And I don't want all of my blood, sweat and tears to be for nothing. I can do that without the treadmill.

Living Like An Alien

WARNING: Deep thoughts ahead...

Confession: I am giving up on this world.

Now, before you report me to Green Peace, let me explain.

For my entire life, I have always struggled to find my niche. As a child, I was on the taller end of the spectrum, even taller than my brother at one point. I also developed my love for all things made of cake around the same age. And when you combine those two together, you end up with a girl whose petite counterparts thought she was ginormous. No girl, no matter how old she is, wants to be ginormous.

I was never the "it" girl in high school. I was more of the "I am going to do musical theater and study really hard and run for student government" girl. And while these things were fun, my daily routine of making sure my hair was 'just so' and trying to pick out the perfect flannel shirt (Hey, this was the '90's people!) was grueling. And if I were to be perfectly honest, I bet I could count on one hand the number of times I truly felt beautiful/included/worthy during those four long years.

And let's not even talk about prom.

I realize this is typical sentiment of many high school graduates. If you are among those who felt this same way, let's rejoice that we survived! And if you are among those who loved every second of high school, well, then, I don't really know what to say to you. You are a mystery to me.

For some reason I thought it would get better once I left the confines of teenage-dom and conquered the world as a twenty-something. I was über wrong. The pressure to be the ideal single girl-on-the-town was even more daunting. I wasn't hipster enough during graduate school. I didn't know the best clubs in town. I had never heard of H&M. I didn't like to hike/ice climb/put your body in extreme climates for the thrill of it. I didn't ski/snowboard/snowshoe. And the thought of hanging out in Boulder terrified me.

It's not as though I didn't try because I did. I tried swing dancing, candle making, white water rafting and eyebrow waxing. I told myself I loved going to nightclubs, loved trying new singles groups and loved going to parties just to say I had been there. And in all honesty, I hated them. I hated them because no matter how hard I tried, no matter how often I told people I was having fun, it just didn't feel right, it didn't feel like me.

I had always heard that once you hit thirty, most of your insecurities about who you are disappear. This is a lie. Turning thirty just makes you even more aware of your insecurities because now you are old and still trying to fit in. Awesome. And now, instead of trying to figure out the latest social trends, you are suddenly very aware of how much money you make (or don't make), if you have a 401K, if it is the right time to buy a house, if you should have 2.4 children of 3.7 children.  Or, if you are single, should you online date or just join a convent.

And all the while, all you really want, is someone to know you, to love you, to comfort you, to take your burdens and carry them a while. To be at peace. (Hmmm...sounds like Jesus?)

Contort. Stuff. Twist. Struggle. Struggle. Struggle.

I don't know about you, but I am exhausted.

Someone I highly respect and love recently asked me, "Sarah, why are you trying so hard to fit into a world for which you were never created?"

This question hit me like a ton of bricks. Why am I trying so hard? Why do I care so much? Why does it matter if I impress everyone? If this life is just temporary, why am I living it like I want it to last forever? Perhaps it is because this world is all I know. Or perhaps it is what is right in front of me. But time and time again, God has said that we are aliens in this land and what awaits for us is so much better. Perfect, actually.

My mind cannot even fathom perfection.

In 1 Peter 1-2, those who follow Jesus are referred to as "exiles" "foreigners" and "aliens." God says that we will not fit into this world, rather we are here only to bring Him glory and to love those around us. No wonder I often feel like I just landed in a foreign land, it's because we are in a foreign land! And just like any international trip, it is important to understand the culture and the language, you do want to find ways to communicate and impact people. But that doesn't mean you want to give up your citizenship to do so.

So this tension that I feel, this wrestling, struggling, stressing to fit in? It is to be expected. But I have also been given permission to let it go. I have been given permission to stop trying so hard and just be Sarah.

WHAT A HUGE RELIEF!

There is freedom in this, wonderful, delicious freedom. I am amazed that our God could love us this much! So next time you see me, just keep in mind that I am doing my best not to fit in. It's just the way I roll now.

Birthday Wish

Me: "Hey Noah, what do you want for your birthday?"

Noah: "Bacon."

Well done, kid.

Almost Like Mary Lou Retton

As you may have guessed, I have been spending a lot of time with Noah lately. He's a fairly cute kid and his one-liners keep me hopping, so I guess I don't mind too much. Besides, it gives me an opportunity to impress upon him just how awkwardly cool I can be. It boggles my mind how this six year old can have such an impact on my self-worth.

Exhibit A:

Yesterday, Noah wanted to learn how to do a hand stand. And since I took exactly three months of gymnastics in 1986, I figured I was the perfect person to teach him. So he walked over to me, put his hands on the ground, stuck his booty in the air, and waited for my instruction. I told him to keep his arms straight and not to fall on his head and I grabbed his legs and and held them up.

Ta-da! Hand stand. We were both impressed with ourselves.

He then asked what else I could teach him and since I had once been known to do 14 cartwheels in a row (again, circa 1986), I figured the cartwheel was next.

SIDE NOTE: People, I have not worked out in four weeks due to a sprained foot/Tunisia/virus-of-death so let's just say a bit of stretching was in need.

I then tried to explain the cartwheel to him. "Noah, stand up and lean to the side. Put one hand down, then the next, swing your legs over your head and land on the other side. That's it, easy." He gave me this look:

So we slowly walked through it and he tried to do what I told him but we both knew that an example was needed. Or in other words, he needed to see this 32 year old body fling itself upside down and land perfectly on the other side.

No biggie.

Mind you, we were in the living room so I needed to find a space large enough to hold my whirling form. I decided the space between the couch and the wall would work perfectly. I kicked off my heels, because the last thing I needed was to puncture myself, and told Noah to stand back. My mom was also in the living room looking a bit scared  skeptical, not quite sure if she should watch or get the first-aid kit.

"Okay, are you ready, Noah?"

I looked over and he covered his eyes and said, "I can't watch."

"Hey! I'm doing this for you, kid."

But at that moment, right as I took that first step forward and began to lean over, a small sliver of a doubt popped into my head.

Doubt that I may break the couch.

Doubt that I may break myself.

Doubt that I may not be as young as I used to be.

Doubt that I should have worn stretchy pants.

Doubt that I may never be the same after these next few seconds.

And let this be a lesson to you all: doubt kills your ability to do a proper cartwheel. Mid-wheel, my legs fell down, my shirt started to fly up and I suddenly became very aware that I hard wood floors may not be the best for landing. I came down with a thump, looking more like a uncoordinated frog than a human being. Thankfully, no furniture or body parts were injured in this process, but when I stood up, Noah asked, "Was that it?"

"No buddy, not exactly. Tomorrow, let's practice in the yard."

Because that's all I need, an entire neighborhood watching. But I can't give this up. I am on a mission.

However, something about "pride cometh before the fall" keeps ringing in my ears.

Dollars for Binks

You guys.

You are so thoughtful and kind. And sweet and sincere. And generous and loving. And the best friends/cousins/readers a girl could have.

Thank you for your sweet words about my darling nephew and for your desire to give to the baby homes. You have no idea how much your kindness warms my heart.

After asking a few questions, I discovered that the best way to support these sweet babies is to give to our Associate who works with these homes. She then can use that money to buy the items that are in greatest need. Like binks!

Sound like a plan?

So, here are the details:

1. Visit the IDEAS website at www.ideasworld.org/give
2. Fill out the online giving form and in the "Notes" section, write "Herrera/baby"

And that's it! I'll make sure that our Associate receives your gifts. She will be THRILLED to know that you are supporting her work and these babies. Truly, she will cry tears of joy because of your generosity.

So thank you again. And feel free to read about our other projects at IDEAS. It's a pretty rad organization.