What to do when you accidentally break your toe while driving:
1. Scream
2. Bang your head on the steering wheel
3. Yell really loud as your mom looks at you with concern
4. Tell your mom that you need an ambulance
5. Laugh uncontrollably
6. Laugh uncontrollably while you wish you could cut off your left foot
7. Laugh uncontrollably because you realize only a special kind of coordination could cause a person to break their own toe, in their own car, while driving
8. Blame Kansas
9. Blame your Old Navy flip flops
10. Blame Honda
11. Scream again
12. Ask your mom to give you a hug
13. Ask your mom to take the wheel while you crawl in the back to suck on your toe
14. Wonder why you ever bought a car in the first place
15. Wonder why you have toes
16. Wonder why you exist
17. Wonder how the ground ever became so flat
18. Wish you could go back and redo the last ten seconds
19. Wish you had your own loaf of chocolate chip zucchini bread to comfort you
20. Cry again
21. Laugh again
22. Take a five second nap
23. Look for snakes on the road to run over
24. Realize you cannot begin your 5K running plan
25. Smile triumphantly because you realize you cannot begin your 5K running plan
26. Accidentally bump your pulsating toe
27. Scream and pass out
In conclusion, my fourth toe on my left foot now looks like a purple grape.
It's not pretty, folks.
Save yourself the trouble and just blame Kansas. ;)
ReplyDeleteWow. That sounds...intense.
ReplyDeleteOnly you could do this.
ReplyDeleteSarah! I'm shocked. I'm sorry. Your feet demand a lot of attention of the medical kind, don't they? And tell Scott I'm pretty sure I could manage this.
ReplyDelete