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An Ambien-Induced Tornado

Summer has arrived in Colorado. It is my favorite time of year. In fact, I would prefer that it was summer all year-round except for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Is that too much to ask? I think not.

This summer we have already experienced record-breaking temperatures as well as some fairly spectacular thunderstorms. It's like God is putting on a show for a million people to watch. It's pretty hard to top that. However, the other night, we experienced something that was familiar to my upbringing yet wildly unfamiliar to my current location: we had a tornado warning.

Now, for those of you who are reading this and reside in Oklahoma or any other state in this glorious country that experiences twisters on a regular basis, you may laugh at this story. You may even say to yourself, "Suck it up, Sarah. Tornado warnings are just the weatherman's way of saying we should drive around and look for danger." You may have even planned your first date around a tornado warning.

Well let me say this to you then: "You are nuts and I am probably related to you."

I actually don't mind severe weather, it can be pretty amazing to witness just as long as you aren't left with just your bathtub the next morning. But the western part of Denver never, ever has tornado warnings. It has something to do with the proximity of the mountains and El Niño.

Two weeks ago, when all hell broke loose and the skies dumped hail and rain like it was the Apocalypse, I decided it would be the perfect time to take an Ambien. Since most of our bad weather moves eastward, and since most of the storms were already east of my house, I figured I was safe to consume (perfectly legal) drugs. Besides, I was having trouble sleeping and I was aching for a good night's sleep. Plus I had those eternally long meetings to attend and I knew that if I didn't get some rest, I would be napping under the table in a room full of world leaders. Professionally, I didn't think that would be my best move.

So, I popped a pill and snuggled into bed.

Twenty minutes later, just as that wonder drug began to work its magic, my mom tells me that there is a funnel cloud over my house.

Um, what?

From that moment on, I felt like I was in a slow-motion action sequence. I remember crawling out of bed, thinking that I need to put on tennis shoes and a sports bra because you don't want to be that person who doesn't have on supportive undergarments during your live TV interview in what are now the remains of your house. I also grabbed a water bottle and my iPad. Oh, and I put on my glasses just in case all of my contact lenses were blown to Wyoming.

Somehow I made it down two flights of stairs to the basement. I went as far as I could into the storage room because it did not have any windows. Besides, if I survived this tornado, I knew that the Christmas decorations and my Easter basket would survive as well. It's the small things that really matter in a time of crisis.

And then I sat there. Waiting. Listening to the roar that was all around. I kept blinking. And swaying. And blinking again, trying hard to not pass out into the bag of wrapping paper. I began texting friends who I knew were also holed up in storage units or bathtubs. Some replied back, others, I came to find out, slept through the entire thing.

I am not sure how long I was there. I think I stared at the wall for a large majority of the time. But eventually the roaring stopped. I gathered my water bottle and trudged up the two flights of stairs and fell into the first bed I saw, which happened to not be my own. I have no recollection of shutting off lights, taking off my shoes or falling into bed.

I am thinking that Ambien-induced tornadoes are the only way to go.

The next morning, it looked like an F-5 had ripped through my hair and a semi-truck had landed on my face. But my house was still standing and no one had died. In fact, a tornado had never really touched the ground, only just the wind, hail and rain that comes with it.

But it did make for an interesting meeting the next day. I may or may not have signed up for a trip to Libya in the fall. I will keep you posted on this.

Birthday Girl from Afar

June is packed-full of birthdays in my family.

On Saturday, we celebrated my mama's.

On Friday, we will celebrate Claire's.

Next week, it's my dad's turn to be celebrated.

A non-stop party. Come on over, there is bound to be some cake.

But this month also holds the birthday of one my greatest friends: Majil! Majil and I met when I first moved to Denver 10 years ago. And since then, we have shared highs and lows, laughed and cried, and even travelled south of the equator just to learn how to tango.

Here we are in Buenos Aires:

This past year, Majil has been traveling the world, spending one month in a particular country, loving on people and serving them in any way they need. It has been amazing to follow her this year. She is so brave, courageous and strong.

Here we are at Iguazu Falls. It's pretty rad.

Typically, Majil and I will gorge ourselves at the Melting Pot to celebrate both of our birthdays. But since she is far away, I will just have to eat all of the bubbling pot of chocolate myself.

Darn.

We'll just have to go back when she returns.

However, I would be amiss if I didn't wish her the most GLORIOUS, STUPENDOUS, EXTRAORDINARY, MAGNIFICENT and WONDERFUL birthday a girl could have!!

You rock, dearest Majil. Happiest of birthdays!
Live it up because God is doing a great work in you!

Vacay

Hello friends, neighbors, countrymen, non-countrymen and cousins. I hope your Tuesday is rocking your socks off. Unfortunately for me, I am not wearing socks today.

I have decided that it is time to take a little blogging vacay. As you can see, I am at a loss for words...intelligent ones, anyway. So in an effort to save you time and to spare my brain cells, I am taking the rest of this week off.

Go, enjoy yourselves!

Eat homemade ice cream!

Take long walks in the moonlight!

Watch a little league baseball game!

Eat kettle corn for dinner like I did last night!

And before you know it, I'll be back with hopefully more news than I have had before. We can surely hope, can't we?

Until then, soak up the summer!

(Or winter, if you are below the equator.)

Vegas Wedding Pictures

I am on a break from my meetings and thought I would share a few pictures with you. Perhaps you have already seen them on Facebook (and if we aren't friends, we totally should be!), but since I am fresh out of anything clever to say unless you want to talk about computer servers and international internet security, then pictures it is!

Besides, who wants to read a bunch of words anyway, right?

First up: the Happy Couple.

Don't you just love Brian's smile? It kills me.

Here it is again in case you missed it. He is a stellar guy. Good choice, Lizzy.

Next up: The Bridesmaids

I love this shot, it makes us look like we are part of the Miss America Pageant. This was a busy hotel and we kept having to move so people could come down the steps. They were so high maintenance. And I have no idea why I am looking at Lizz's head but her hair did look beautiful.

This was one of the last pictures we took and you can tell we are excited to eat. REALLY excited to eat.

P.S. Don't you love the red shoes?! LOVE them!

I love this picture of Lizz and me. It was so much fun being in her wedding and she looked absolutely stunning! However, I feel like my left arm looks like it belongs to the Incredible Hulk. I have no idea why it looks this way but let's just hope I didn't scare any children.

And this is my favorite picture! I love these girls and everyone looks so amazing. And yes, my dress does have a top...although I am sure I could have gotten away without it in Vegas.


I hope you enjoyed the scenery! Now, I am going to take my ginormous left arm and go back to work.

Still Here

Hey guys. I am still here.

I have been in meetings all week. Big, important, global meetings. You know, world peace and all that jazz.

And I think I still have a wedding hangover from last weekend. My bag isn't even unpacked and I am finding glitter everywhere.

Anywho, more to come. Soon. I promise.

Just talk amongst yourselves.

Scenes from Vegas

Word up, peeps.

Today is the wedding day and things are beginning to get a little nutty, especially when you have a party bus with a stripper pole involved. Nevertheless, this day is bound to be exciting!

Here are a few pictures I captured as we ran errands around town, picking up flowers and the marriage license, and trying not to melt in the 105 degree weather.





The wedding chapel has their very own Las Vegas sign. Classy.





And they also have a drive thru. Las Vegas is all about convenience. Big kudos to them.





Here I am with a Ferrari. You know, the norm.





This is the view out of my hotel room. The pool is hopping, so much so that my walls are vibrating. I think that is part of my resort fee.





Last night was Lizz's bachelorette party and we went to the Venetian for dinner and to see the Blue Man Group. The food was fabulous and the blue men were extremely weird. I highly recommend it.





Here is Lizz's posse. These girls are awesome. And in three hours, they will all be wearing false eyelashes. It's part of my MOH duties.





And here is the view at night. What a strange, crazy, fabulous city! It's like Disneyland for adults.

Okay, I'm off! It's time to get this show on the road...or bus, whichever.